The Last Templar

Mira Sorvino, Victor Garber (2009) An archaeologist and an FBI agent try to uncover the secrets of the medieval Knights Templar. Based on a novel by Raymond Khoury.

Apparently this is a 2-night NBC movie event. Off we go. We'll see if I split this into 2 reviews for the 2 nights, or just watch it all in one go. It aired last week, so I've got both bits on the DVR right now.

An initial scene has some knights templar folk showing up at an art gallery, and jacking a bunch of medieval christian artifacts. Talk about a robbery done in style. They've got full plate armor, those dangly horse clothes, swords... the works... And now Mira Sorvino is chasing after them on a police horse, using some sort of bishop's staff as a weapon. Rather ineffectively thus far... Oh, and did I mention that there were a shit-ton of police officers at this event. With guns. And somehow all 4 of the knights made it in and out of the museum alive. Until one came across Mira and her Staff of Decapitation +1000. Because she apparently decapitated one of the knights. Who had a sword. With her blunt staff. And then random love interest guy just basically said "Lets keep the body and head together. For old times sake." I think I might like this character.

Oh, never mind. The knights beheaded a cop. She didn't behead anyone. My mistake. And apparently the staff is a "crozier". Its a ceremonial staff used by popes. Pope's, bishops... whatever. We Presbyterian folk don't have those.

And she just used the word "wonky". I think I might like her character as well. Apparently the central stone on some cross artifact is "wonky". I'm making my prediction that that stone is going to somehow interact with some old decoder thing, and allow Sorvino and Agen Love Interest to solve the riddle. After the inevitable betrayals, and about 126 instances of the artifacts changing hands.

And its got that guy from Alias as some sort of clergy guy.

Apparently FBI agents like muffins. Donuts are for cops. Learn something new every day.

Hmm.. and original random love interest guy and FBI agent love interest guy look awfully similar. Original has an accent. But FBI Agent seems to be more of a wise-ass. I'm torn on who to support. I'm currently leaning towards Agent Wise-ass, due to his wise-ass-ness, and Original doesn't have a very awesome accent. Just sort of mediocre as accents go.

Hmmm. Apparently you can watch this on Hulu. In case you wanted to.

And Agent Love Interest just used the word "effing". I don't remember ever hearing that in a movie. Usually its just explicitly dropping the F-bomb, or avioiding it completely.

And apparently if you yell that you're "FBI!" enough, people will believe you, even if you don't show any credentials. Or maybe that's only taxi drivers.

Well, I'm hungry, I've got basically no food in the house, and I should probably go outside some time today. So I'm off. I'll watch the second half later some time, and review it then.