Anacondas: Trail of Blood

Crystal Allen, John Rhys-Davies (2009) Chopped in half, an enormous snake spawns into two deadly creatures.

SciFi Saturday Movie from 2/28.

I'm about a quarter to a third of the way through the movie, and frankly nothing interesting has happened. Lots of yelling, a bunch of characters I don't care about, and a snake.

Probably the first interesting thing they did was to have a scene where a guy gets eaten by the snake. Only instead of going all close in where you can see the really crappy CG in all its crappy glory, they shot it from very far away, so it was basically a silhouette eating another one. And thank goodness for spell check, because that's a bitch of a word to spell.

I guess this is another one of those movies filmed in Eastern Europe. They managed to cover up their accents pretty well, but when they got all frantic and yell-y they reverted to their accents.

Also, some guy just ran into a tree. I'm not really sure if that was scripted or not, but it was a pretty small tree, and still knocked the guy on his ass.

And some guy (part of a group of mercenaries) just fell over, and one of his compatriots mocked him, and basically laughed at him because he was gonna get et by the snake. So the first guy shoots the laughing guy in the leg, and then runs away, leaving him to get et instead. Life's a bitch if you're a mercenary.

Also, the guy who got shot in the leg shot wildly into the air, rather than shooting at the snake that was about to eat him...

And then some things happened, but I was making myself some food, so I don't really know what it was. Or care...

And then I had to get the food out of the oven.

They ended up blowing up the snake somehow. I really don't know.

And somehow it survived, in the classic Bad SciFi ending of "Hey look! The critter didn't actually die!".