The Hard Corps

Jean-Claude Van Damme, Vivica A. Fox (2006) A former soldier must project an entrepreneur who testified against an ex-convict now seeking revenge.

Razaaq Adoti and Vivica A. Fox hire a bodyguard that they want to be inconspicuous. So they do the natural thing, and hire a Belg. That'd be Mr. Van Damme, by the way. Seems there might be something wrong with that...

And for some reason Captain Black Guy and Captain Belgish are now kicking the crap out of each other in a gym. Captain Black Guy was apparently the Heavyweight Boxing Champion at some point. But Van Damme is after all Van Damme. So, perhaps a fair fight?

Also, Razaaq (Captain Black Guy) is very, very shiny... In other news, you may remember Captain Black Guy from his role as Captain Black Guy in Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Captain Black Guy the Raccoon City Police Officer, as opposed to Awesome Black Guy with the twin gold Deagles.

Also, Van Damme looks kinda dum in desert cammies...

Also, remembered what I said about Wesley Snipes yesterday? The same holds true for Jean-Claude Van Damme.

And interestingly enough, one of the characters has decided to modify the "gangsta style" of shooting. Instead of rotating the gun so that the top is pointing towards the center (pointing left, if being shot right handed), he has rotated it the other way... Regular gangsta style looks dumb enough. Modified gangsta style lookes even dumber.

So, if you've learned anything today, ensure that you don't shoot gangsta style. Or, god forbid, modified gangsta style. Because you well look dumb. Really, really dumb. And I will laugh at you.

And the movie ends with Captainess Black Guy making out with Van Damme. Or perhaps it should be Captain Black Girl. Eh, whatever. I kind of prefer "Captainess".