Lost Treasure of the Grand Canyon (and Bonus)

Shannen Doherty, Michael Shanks (2008) A woman leads an expedition to save her father from warriors of an ancient civilization.

Sci-Fi Saturday movie from 12/20.

The glorious return of the Sci-Fi Saturday reviews to my blog. They've been absent for a bit because the SciFi channel decides to put movies that I've already seen as their feature on Saturday nights. Stuff like Sin City, Jurassic Park: The Lost World, Blade Runner. I've seen these already, and am not going to watch them again just to review them. This past week, it was Serenity. Which would be worth watching again, but if I'm going to watch it, it'll be commercial-free on DVD. And I'm not sure if I'd want to review it, mainly because its really good. On second thought, I'll have a mini-review inside this review. The bonus I mentioned in the title:

Serenity: Watch it.

PS: Jewel Staite is hot.

Uh, yeah. That's it. If you haven't seen it, do it. And watch Firefly while you're at it. I could have sworn I talked about Firefly on this blog a while ago. Probably before my huge hiatus. Feel free to go back and search for it, and let me know. And then I can use the word "and" far too many times in one sentence. And if you're typing quickly, and accidentally swap the "T" and the " " in "far too", you get humorous results.

And now to hit the play button on the DVR. Well, actually its not really a button, but its an option on the screen. Anyways, onwards:

I was torn when I decided to review this movie. I've got this, with everyone's favorite Daniel Jackson in it, and I have Sands of Oblivion, with Jayne Cobb in it. Tough choice. But in the end, I decided that I hadn't done a Sci-Fi Saturday review in a while, and after all, Daniel Jackson has my loyalties, because, aside from sharing my name, he happened to have about 10 seasons of watching, with assorted movies, while Jayne only had one season and a movie (and a Stargate guest star role). So, in the end Dr. Jackson won out. Jayne'll show up in a bit.

Oh, right. This movie. Perhaps I should talk about it at some point. Nah...

And if I were feeling like a jerk (or at least moreso than usual), I'd end the review now, and hit the "Publish Post" button. Which is what I might do if it were not a Sci-Fi Saturday movie. I wonder if I could coin the acronym SFS for Sci-Fi Saturday. Much quicker to type. We'll see if it catches on. By which I mean, will I remember it the next time I want to mention the Sci-Fi Channel's weekly bad movie showcase. We will see.

You remember the SG1 episode "Wormhole X-treme"? The hundreth episode where they basically make fun of the whole production? Anyways, there's one scen where they're discussing the budget (of Wormhole X-treme, the show within the show), and they say that they don't have enough money to show a spaceship. The producers/directors talk about how they will show the awesomeness of the alien spaceship in people's reactions. That's what they're doing with the monster in this movie. Reminds me of a movie I watched a little while ago called "Alien Abduction". I didn't review it here, because #1 I didn't feel like it, and the blog was on Christmas break, and #2 because it was terrible, and I didn't care enough to pay attention. The main character of that one supposedly saw a UFO, but it was never shown to the viewer. Same sort of budgetary thing I'd guess. And did I mention it was terrible? And it didn't really end. Or at least it did have an ending, but it didn't make much sense, or provide much closure.

Daniel Jackson's character finds it preposterous that someone has a theory that the Egyptians came to North America. Kind of humorous given Daniel Jackson's views on the subject. And Martouf's character is named Dr. Langford. I wonder if all these parallels with the Stargate franchise are intentional, or just coincidences.

And some character who's getting his heart cut out has the most amazing beard. Very pointy. Speaking of which, I need to pick up the latest Dream Theater DVD.

And the Canon from SG1's Demons was just beheaded.

It seems that Martouf is actually the hero of this one, not Shanks. But I guess J.R. Bourne isn't a big enough name to get top billing. Or not. Seems that he's a big weenie after all. Now its time for Shanks to find his heart of gold. But it seems that his heart is actually made of meat. As he seeminglyh just removed it from his chest. I supect that some trickery is afoot. And now everyone's getting shot by arrows. As I suspected, it was merely a spare heart that he stole from the temple's Jar O' Hearts.

And now to show that he's supremely badass, Shanks is desecrating Quetzocoatl's temple. Seemingly for the sole purpose of goading he/she/it into a fight. And I'll now be referring to the Aztec god thing as Q, because the full name is to freaking long, and I'm not even sure I spelled it right. Apparently its actually spelled Quetzalcoatl. Not too shabby for a first attempt, if I do say so myself.

These Aztek folks seem awfully serene about Dr. Jackson just stabificating their god. I guess they'd seen SG1 already, and seen his propensity for doing that. Oh, nice. Apparently he's now their god. Way to go Dr. Jackson.

So, am I not complaining about this movie because it had 2 actors I rather like (Michael Shanks and J.R. Bourne)? Who really knows.

And now for some sweet, sweet Jayne action.