Crocodile 2: Death Roll

Heidi Noelle Lenhart, Chuck Walczak (2001) A giant crocodile stalks a band of criminals after their plane crashes in a Mexican swamp.

This plane offers a rather impressively large collection of alcohol on their beverage cart. And the cockpit has relatively few instruments. Certainly about less than half of the instruments of any cockpit I've seen.

And the bad guys just hijacked the plane. And the guy who ended up pointing a gun at the captain had a gun which had the slide locked about halfway back. Pretty sure that's kind of a problem...

And the hijacker with the accent is wearing a shirt that reveals his midriff. Pretty sure those types of shirts are generally reserved for chicks... Or at least they should be.

Apparently if an airliner crash-lands in water it will hit the water, coast for a bit, and then abruptly break in half. The tail section of the plane will explode for no apparent reason, and the front will keep coasting along for a while. The front of the plane will then be filled with a fireball, but no one seems to be seriously burned. Bad as that may seem, I'm pretty sure that's the most rousing endorsement for sitting in the front of the plane that I've ever seen.

And some guy's in the process of getting et by a crocodile. And he keeps alternating between having his left and right arms torn off... and now someone just got et for having the gall of taunting the crocodile from a 2nd story window.

And now for a bit of raping... Which has been prevented by the timely intervention of a huge effing crocodile. Because I don't think I mentioned the bigness of the crocodile just yet...

Apparently the director is from the "shake the camera a bunch and add some bad CG" school of film-making. Which generally turns out poorly.... And he also likes to film scenes and then play them back in some weird hybrid of slo-mo and regular, with a bit of hi-speed going on as well... Its weird as hell.

"Guns don't kill people. People kill people."

And the climax of the movie seems to revolve around the fact that this dude gave his girlfriend a shitty Zippo that's really inconsistent about lighting when you really need it to... But alas, it seems they have prevailed by blowing up the crocodile with a combination of gasoline and swamp gasses. Or gases? I dunno. Or honestly care for that matter.

And due to the joys of a lack of continuity, even though there are some scenes taking place a short while later, they're all healed, and their facial lacerations and shit are all gone... Yay!