Sunday, May 24, 2009

Braddock: Missing In Action III

Chuck Norris, Aki Aleong (1988) A U.S. colonel returns to Vietnam and fights his way out with his wife, son and Amerasian orphans.

First of all, this seems like the exact plot of "24: Redemption", only with Vietnamese, rather than people from a fictional African country.

Also, it bothers me that the description didn't have a comma after the word "son". I think both are acceptable forms of punctuation, but I much prefer having a comma before the "and".

And apparently this movie dismisses any sort of continuity with any of the previous movies. This one has Colonel Braddock (Norris) leaving on a helicopter from the American Embassy during the fall of Saigon, which basically marked the end of the Vietnam War. However, in the previous movies, they established that Braddock was captured, and held as a prisoner past the end of the war.

Also, some guy tried to force his way on one of the helicopters. Chuck wasn't having none of that, so he threw him off (the helicopter was still on the ground). The guy wasn't too pleased, so he shot Braddock with a revolver. And then he got machine-gunned for his troubles. Seems a bit overkill. But, I guess that's all the guy had on hand, so it's not that out of hand. However, the length of the burst was a bit extreme.

"I don't step on toes, Little John. I step on necks."

Oh, good. Well played Captain Vietnamese Guy. You just shot Chuck Norris' wife. This seems like the sort of movie where there's a bit of torturing, followed by Norris breaking out, and then kicking everyone's ass. Multiple times.

And now there's some torture going on. And now Norris has broken out. And for some reason, the torture involved oiling up Chuck Norris, so his muscles look all shiny and awesome.

And now Chuck Norris has blown up damn near everyone. But the bad guys have a helicopter now! Which looks remarkably like a Huey with some extra body work added. Although, I suppose it is feasible that the Vietnamese got their hands on an old Huey, and didn't just subsist on Russian stuff...

And I just realized that this is now even more ridiculously similar to 24: Redemption... with the helicopter and all... If the priest gets shot buying time for Norris to escape with the kiddies, I'm gonna be quite impressed about how much they ripped off this movie

In other news, I had something I was going to type, but I completely forgot what it was, as I got ridiculously distracted.

Holy Crap! That's the ugliest helicopter in the history of time.

"He makes one wrong move, we'll crawl right up his ass" Uhh... guys? That sounds like a really dumb idea. Maybe not dumb, but rather unpleasant to say the least.

Also, the ugly helicopter has the wimpiest rockets ever. They come out of the rocket pod, and just kinda fall down immediately, just like they were cheap fireworks... Could it be?

Oh, and Priest Guy seems to have survived.

This was one of those movies where I randomly felt compelled to start fast forwarding, even though it wasn't commercials. I never actually did it, but I did feel the urge quite a few times. However, this was also one where I didn't feel the need to rewind when I overshot fast forwarding through commercials.

1 comment:

Su said...

Hmm... so all in all not Chuck at his best?