Friday, October 31, 2008

Danny DeVito's Ass

Did not need to see that.

Happy Halloween

Yeah, pretty much...

And I just pooped, so I won't be able tell you about my bodily functions for a little while. FYI.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Best Picture Ever.


Or at least one of them...

Looks like you need to click on it to get the whole picture.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myer

Next up, Halloween 6: The some other R word of Michael Myer. Maybe not.

Seems to be following the standard horror movie plot. Scantily clad teenage girls get killed by a psychotic killer who has some sort of trademark. And then I stop caring, and pretty much browse the internet, while it plays in the background.

So, that's pretty much what's happening...

Although I kind of like the score for the movie, as the main theme is just a rather simple piano melody. Rather repetitive, but it sort of captures the frantic nature that the director is trying to evoke.

And that's enough big fancy words for me right now. I guess I'll mention that I have to pee as a way of bringing karmic balance to the world.

But Loomis' chrome-ass 1911 makes me happy. Its got ivory grips and all...

Lesson #1: If you are a cocky asshole, and take too much pride in your car, Michael Myer will scratch your car with some sort of garden implement, and then proceed to rake you in the face.

And that random kid is fucking creepy...

And I'm now taking a break from that movie. Because I frankly don't care.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myer

Saw the first one the other day. It seems they're all on TV these days due to the season. Except for #2 and #3. #3 not being on I can understand, as its not really part of the whole Michael Myer saga. But the second one? That's a bit of an oversight, as if I didn't read about it on Wikipedia, I wouldn't have any idea how Myer ended up in a hospital, and why that doctor guy got all ugly all of a sudden.

So, all in all, not all that scary. Probably because I'm not actually paying attention. I've got #5 and #6 on the DVR, but its late, so I'll get to them later.

No Shelter


Figured I'd steal a title from a Rage Against the Machine Song, as it is sort of apt:

Thus ends any sort of discussion of the TV show Sanctuary. I really wanted to like it, because I like most of the actors' other work. Because its Stargate. And I'm pretty sure we all know how I feel about that...

So, sorry to say, you tried, but have failed to make a TV show that interests me.

And I just realized one of the things that bothers me the most. They have Christopher Heyerdahl playing the main villain dude, as well as one of the good guys (in heavy make-up/prosthetics). But the voice is exactly the same. He has a very distinct voice, and it weirded me out when both characters sounded exactly the same... And he has a really long face. And looks hella strange. See picture.

And the using mainly CG backgrounds is quite obvious, and kinda annoying... Kinda innovative if they'd done it better.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Presidential Campaign

Well, I know who I'm voting for. Do you?

That's a link by the way. Doesn't seem to look like one to me...

The Randy Report, Part 2

15th and he didn't crash out... yay him.

The Ferryman

Kerry Fox, John Rhys-Davies (2007) A murderous spirit posesses individuals aboard a pleasure cruise after they rescue a stranger.

Sci-Fi Saturday movie from October 25.

Some sort of unintelligible whispering as an intro. Followed by some guy and Gimli fighting on a boat. So, basically, thus far, I haven't the foggiest clue what's going on. Except Gimli now seems to be attacking the other dude's gibblies with some sort of machete...

And now there seems to be a Maori tribesman on this pleasure cruise. So, I guess we're back the the whole indian thing that used to be so prevalent in these bad sci-fi movies.

And now the just caught a shark. and whacked it with a cricket bat, and then shot it. Which apparently had a human hand in its stomach. With a smiley face watch. I guess, if you're gonna catch a human hand, the best kind is one with some sort of interesting novelty watch.

And I have a snippet of some song stuck in my head that involves the word "ferryman" but I can't think of what it is. Its either Symphony X or Savatage. Or maybe not.

Everyone seems to have some sort of accent, which makes this movie slightly more interesting. Or at least everyone who we care about. There are a few people (e.g., Rich Bitchy Woman) who don't have accents, and the consensus here seems to be "I hope she dies first"

And they just rescued Gimli from the high seas. In the middle of a fog bank at night. Basically, for the past five minutes I'm not really sure what's gone one, because they decided to only use flashlights as the lighting for the scene.

And how did they not notice that Gimli had a big knife when they brought him on board? Which he just used to stab Maori Dude. And got hisself thrown off the boat.

The director of this movie seems to think that Dark = Scary. However, Dark = I have no idea what's going on, because you're a terrible director...

There seems to be more space below decks on this boat than the size of the boat would suggest.

Lots of body-switching, and a bunch of people acting like asses.

Most interesting scene thus far: A slow motion scene which has the villain beating up the captain, which immediately cuts to a different view of the same scene, happening in real time. The change from slow-motion to regular speed is quite abrupt.

This is another one of those where I'm glad that October is almost over, and hopefully we'll be back to actual Sci-Fi, rather than just horror. That and I'm going on vacation in November.

Rich Slutty Bitch is batshit insane. Her boyfriend is choking her, and she gets pissed when someone shoots him. And ends up getting herself possessed by the evil spirit thing. It seems this evil spirit has a vendetta against anyone with a cool accent.

Another one of those movies where if I didn't read the Wikipedia summary, I'd have little idea what's going on. None of those has been any good, FYI.

Intriguing

I've got 5 days to make about 7 more blog entries. Then I'll have had as many entries during the month of October, as the entirety of 2007.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Crazy Eights

Traci Lords (2006) Six childhood friends get together to face a terror from their past. Sci-Fi Saturday movie from 10/11.

Rated R. So there might be boobs. We'll see... I'm intrigued how blurred out Sci-Fi channel boobs will look when I take a picture of them with my camera, and then post on my blog. Stay tuned.

So. Time for predictions. Anyone else see the description and think of Stephen King's It? I did.

And Fiona from Burn Notice is in this movie. Currently wearing overalls and no shirt. I'd say the boob-age factor just increased...

Thus far we've been introduced to David Caruso Gone Wrong, Fiona, and Combat Leotard Chick from that sphinx movie... There are a couple of others, but I don't care enough to provide them with nicknames.

Normally, I'd read the Wikipedia summary of the movie, but its too dang long. And apparently Traci Lords used to be a porn actress. Boob-age factor rising more...

And FYI Jamie Bamber sounds strange with his british accent. I'm so used to his generic American accent that he uses on Battlestar Galactica (as Apollo, in case you were wondering), that it strikes me as strange.

And David Caruso Gone Wrong is cursing up a storm. So, maybe its rated R due to language, rather than boobs. Cast seems to be a bit older than the usual sci-fi movie.

So apparently this blog post is going to be about boobs. And whether or not they're going to show up in this movie. I think I may be over analyzing the issue. But hey, its my blog, so I can do with it what I want. Take that, world.

If you got trapped in some creepy hospital thing, and saw a jar of instant coffee, would you trust it? Because I sure as hell wouldn't. But I guess I'm not in a bad sci-fi movie.

And Fiona appears to have ripped her jaw off. Looks like the chances of boobs is decreasing. In that there are now only 2/3rds as many of them.

And there's a chair on wheels. Which, instead of a normal seat, has a toilet seat. I must have one of these chairs. Just think of all the mobile pooping hijinks...

They need to stop advertising the hell out of Sanctuary. Because thus far, its not very good.

No boobs yet, by the way.

And DCGW has now seemingly been killed. Thank goodness. He was freaking annoying.

Dammit. The TV rating of this is TV MA LV. So language and violence. No boobs. Now with that disappointment out of the way, I'm gonna have to complain about the Wikipedia article. Its completely out of order, compared with what I'm seeing on screen. I'm pretty sure that they've edited the movie to be shown on TV, but editing the order of scenes makes positively no sense...

And previously unmentioned Preacher Man just got broomhandle'd to death. And not the cool kind of broomhandle (the Mauser kind). Just the regular old wood kind. Or maybe metal. Whatever.

Frankly, I think that had I not been reading the Wikipedia page while watching this, I wouldn't have a freaking clue what's going on. Either a very poorly made movie, or a very poorly edited movie.

OK, seriously. Stop with the jump cuts already. I've had enough. Its late, and I'm tired, and its giving me a headache. Thanks.

The ending can only be described as: Whadafug?

So, after Frailty or whatever it was called, and Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, this was a bitter disappointment. Especially due to the lack of boobs.

So, no boobs, no pictures.

Fancy Hats

I'm looking at increasing my collection of fancy hats.

I've already got a fedora and a top hat.

Are there any varieties of hat that I require for my fancy hat collection to be complete?

I'm thinking bowler.

Frailty


Another gem to come out of Sci-Fi's 31 days of Halloween. It had 3 stars, but seeing as how it was on the Sci-Fi channel, I had no hopes of it being anywhere near decent.

Plot's a bit complicated to get into, but its worth a watch. Its got Matthew McConaghy or whatever, and Powers Booth, and Bill Paxton.

Its all about serial killers and FBI agent and stuff.

And today's picture: Forget Colonel Mustard. It was Bill Paxton in the parking lot with the lead pipe.

The Ring

Meh.

Riddles of the Sphinx





Dina Meyer, Lochlyn Munro (2008) A man and his daughter must solve a series of riddles to defeat a deadly creature.

Sci-Fi Saturday movie from 9/27. Here goes.

Donnelly Rhodes! Doc Cottle is so dang awesome. Hopefully his character in this movie is as crotchety as Doc Cottle on Battlestar Galactica. So far, not as crotchety. Seems too happy and cheerful. And just a little to eaten by the sphinx to be properly crotchety. Dang. I was really hoping that he'd stick around...

Teacher's Advice: "Make good choices". Well thanks teacher man. Never would have thought of that myself.

So instead of Doc Cottle gone wrong, it seems we have Daniel Jackson Gone Wrong. A very wienerific attempt at making someone as awesome as Daniel Jackson. Not enough awesomeness. Or Sarcasm. Or Non-Wienerificness. I was really hoping that someone with the name "Lochlyn Munro" would be awesome. But he's not.

"He's got it easy Jess. He's dead!". Very compasionate DJGW. Way to talk about your dead father.

And the Sphinx's new power: turn into a really freaking ugly dude. In a loin-cloth. OK, lady. you just punched him in the business, and you think throwing plates at him is gonna work?

There's an inter-dimensional portal underneath the Sphinx in Giza, Egypt. FYI. Something about the Chamber of Knowledge or something.

I thought the whole point of the Sphinx was that he/she/it gave you a riddle to answer, rather than just kicking your ass. This sphinx seems to have neglected that part.

And apparently DJGW's daughter is impressed by standard driving skills. The driver didn't seem to do anything particularly interesting. And apparently walking down stairs is dramatic. And a good way to make an entrance...

In case you were wondering what template of movie this is, its the one where the guy leaves whatever secret organization thing prior to the movie, but when the events of the movie happens, they realize that he's the best man for the job, and are forced to bring him back in, despite all of their misgivings. And the one where the female main character/potential love interest wears a combat leotard.

Thank goodness he talks to himself as he deciphers things. Otherwise we'd have little to no idea what's going on. Not that we do right now...

Oh sweet. Now there's a traitor in the ranks. Who didn't tell Doc Cottle about the beast that eventually ate him.

And thankfully DJGW's 16 year old daughter can figure out riddles on her PSP. Do those even connect to the internet, or any sort of thng where they could access pictures of Greek statues?

And apparently Greece looks strangely like the area surrounding Vancouver. And DJGW is now wearing a leather jacket, something that resembles a fedora, and a man-satchel. How very original. And he still can't act.

And Baldy McTootherson just used a "gravity gun" against the sphinx after our heroes showed up again. Not previously when his doods were getting et...

And apparently they only had 2 HMMWVs in their budget, and could only afford 2 additional jeeps in a very orange-ish camoflage scheme. And one of the hummers is one of the pickup truck types... so I'd hate to be the guy on the .50 riding that... And once again Baldy has let his underlings die, while only managing to save the heroes. So, basically they're not really making it seem like the main characters are in any sort of jeopardy.

and now his strategy for getting the last clue is to get nekkid. apparently there should be no barrier between the human body and the elements in order to pass the trap. But he got himself nekkid, rather than convincing his female compatriots to do so. Worst Sci-Fi movie ever.

And of course the traitor is Baldy. Which would explain his crappiness in saving his dudes.

And again, I am struck by how awesome it would be to fight a CG monster. And how cool it would be to get a pair of chrome-ass 1911s and put pearl grips on them...

And apparently dude had to kill himself in order to kill the sphinx. or something. Dude just killed himself, and now he's wondering if he's dead.

And he just passed up the knowledge of the universe to be with his kid and combat leotard woman.

Honestly, I had hopes for this one. I thought it could be interesting. Boy was I wrong.

And today's pictures: DJGW, Baldy immediately post inevitable betrayal, Baldy slightly later, and Ugly Dude/Sphinx. In no particular order, because as we all know, I have no real idea how to work pictures in this thing.

The Incredible Hulk

Edward Norton projects the proper amount of nerdiness in the Bruce Banner role. Eric Bana did not.

All in all, this movie was a lot better than that Hulk movie that came out a while ago. Much less monster in the closet sort of jibba-jabba.

And the Tony Stark cameo made me realize that I still need to pick up Iron Man.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Stargate Atlantis tonight

A clip show? Seriously?

Village of the Damned





Movie from 1960 that has the creepy blond kids with the glowing eyes. That have been spoofed in damn near every comedy horror venue...

But they haven't showed up yet... as its just the beginning right now.

And their testing scheme is fantastic. When the whole village was falling asleep or something, the army sent a guy into the area wearing a gas mask, and when he inevitably passed out, they pulled him out with the rope they had attached... made me happy.

And what happens when you take a picture of a black and white movie with the black and white filter on my camera? Apparently nothing.

And a couple of bonus pictures: A crappy picture of River Tam as a Terminator kicking the crap out of some other terminator. And John Noble. Who has the best job ever. Basically, for his role in Fringe, all he has to do is wander about and act like a complete loon. Quite possibly the best job ever.

And now I have to pee. So I shall pause the movie, and come back in a little bit... Mission Accomplished.

Movie Lesson #1: Whenever a woman is going nuts because she's being evil-eyed by a creepy little kid, the best cure is to slap her.

Movie Lesson #2: British people don't wrap their chocolate when they put it into puzzle boxes. Especially when giving said puzzle boxes to toddlers.

See, I don't just watch stuff from the Sci-Fi channel. I think this was from AMC...

Oh, great. Now the dude's trying to get all the creepy kids to live together. Doesn't he realize that's a pretty poor idea?

And the dude who just almost ran over one of the creepy kids (accidentally) had the most fantastic car. His doors opened backwards... I want a car that does that... but not explode if it hits a wall at a very slow speed, as his did.

And these guys are doing the angry mob all wrong... no torches or pitchforks... OK, they've amended the first, but are still lacking the second...

And now another bonus picture: Updating the blog! As you can probably tell, I've got no real idea how to organize the pictures, so, I guess you'll just have to deal with it.

And the guy just tinkered with one of those stereotypical alarm clocks... so I'm guessing he's making a bomb. And he just said goodbye to his dog. Yup, bomb. And the house just exploded with all the creepy kids inside. Yup, bomb.

And its quite obviously a miniature... and the kid's glowing eyes are now flying away.

And now to see what this post actually looks like with the multitudinous pictures...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

New DragonForce

Apparently DragonForce has a new album out. I just watched the video of their first single, and came to the conclusion that it is in fact DragonForce.

DragonForce is one of those bands where all the songs sound almost the same. But when you're in the mood to listen to some, it doesn't matter that you're essentially listening to the same thing over and over again.

Its got stupid fast guitar parts and stuff, and singing about the most randomest of things.

Although only 1 band thus far has managed to go from singing about extremophiles one song, to internet romance the very next song on the album. That band is Ayreon. Another one of those bands that you have to be in the mood for. Except less stupid fast instrumental parts (although there are some), and more story, and a whole lot more singers (including Bruce Dickinson from Iron Maiden, James LaBrie from Dream Theater, and Russel Allen from Symphony X). Another fantastic band.

But I have a meeting tomorrow morning, and I'm off to bed...

The Shield (again)

I talked about The Shield a long time ago, and now its time to mention it again.

The final season is airing right now. And its fantastic.

And it looks like Vic is gonna use a Deagle in the next episode. Yay Deagles.

From Pie to Puke

What a Birthday!

Started off well when my co-worker brought me pie from my birthday.

Then went to my church thing, where I had to clean up some kids puke... Twas fantastic...

And then on the drive home, I discovered that the Lane Signal lights on I-66 are apparently not controlled by a single entity... at that point, I was ready to be impressed and amused by anything...

Monday, October 20, 2008

More Heroes Spoilers

As much as I like Hiro, watching him get wailed on the head with a shovel repeatedly is quite hilarious.

Lake Dead

Putting a new spin on bad sci-fi. Rather than having a character that seems to be allergic to wearing a shirt, one of the characters seems to take every opportunity to take off her pants... What a twist!

Other notable plot points involve a motel, a lake, some cannibals, and a creepy old lady, made all the more creepy by the fact that she's making out with her son...

Basically your standard horror movie about a bunch of young people wearing few clothes who get into some sort of horror-tastic hijinks... inheriting a motel in this case... which seems to be inhabited by a bunch of cannibals and stuff... and the personification of incest... lots of implied incest... and some threatened incest...

I can't wait for October to be over, so they'll get back to showing Sci-Fi movies, rather than just horror movies... Stupid 31 days of halloween...

No pictures, as I really don't want to remember ever watching this movie...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Formula 1 Update

My, I've been posting a lot today...

anyways, after the Chinese Grand Prix today, local favorite Robert Kubica is no longer in the running for F1 World Champion (and by local, I mean this living room). After a rather poor qualifying performance yesterday, he never really was in the running today.

Hamilton won, giving him another 2 points in his lead over today's second place finisher, and title rival, and cockbag Felipe Massa.

So, with 1 race to go, Hamilton has a 7 point lead over Massa, and they're the only 2 who can win the World Championship at this point.

So, basically I'm just hoping that Kimi sets fast lap in the final race of the season, so he can set the single-season record for doing that...

The Randy (de Puniet) Report

15 laps to go, and he hasn't crashed yet. I don't really know why I like Randy de Puniet so much. Its probably his name...

perhaps this shall replace the Scott Speed Sucks Report. Only with less Scott Speed and Formula 1, but more Randy de Puniet and MotoGP.

Apparently he's crashed out in about 19 of the MotoGP races he's been in... 51 races total. That means he's crashed in 37% of the MotoGP races he's been in. That's awesome...

Lethal Weapon

Buddy cop movie... Bla Bla Bla... I'm sure everyone's already seen it. But surprisingly I hadn't.

But just in case, here's a picture of our Lord and Master: Gary Busey.

And apparently I posted too soon. Movie wasn't done yet... I missed the opportunity to mention Gary Busey being bested in a fight by Mel Gibson's "thrusting loins".

Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties


You know what sucks worse than the first Garfield movie?

The second one.

And here's a picture of Garfield, for posterity

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

I think my thoughts on Indiana Jones are pretty well known. That would be why I almost dreaded seeing the new one... Anyways, I eventually got around to it... and wasn't disappointed... Granted, I went in expecting hardly anything from it.

It did not stand up to Raiders or Last Crusade. Still not sure how it compares to Temple of
Doom. Wasn't really a fan of that one. Just a bit too silly.

Anyways, my favorite line was during the jungle chase:
Indy: "Marion, take the wheel."
Mutt/Henry Jones III/Shia LeBoef/Whatever: (all offended-like) "But she got to drive the truck!"

Anyways, it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't amazingly good either...


Some typical Indiana Jones travelling...


And 2 Henry Joneses in my cameras olde-timey photo mode. also known as sepia toned... and too much flash... pretty much the bane of my photographic existence when trying to take pictures of my laptop or the TV.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

PS

Extreme close-ups of Mark Wahlberg are weird.

The Happening (What A Tweest!)

The M. Night Shyamalamayamalan movie...

Apparently it exists, and is on DVD.

and apparently people are killing them selves. and they're not really doing it in any sort of manner that inspires sympathy... it just ends up being hilarious...

And Marky Mark is back! for the second night in a row... and one of his students has some pretty crazy hair... and Marky Mark isn't wearing a leather jacket, or looking constipated... so definitely a different movie... although I did like him in Rock Star. Mainly because it is basically about Judas Priest. And the music isn't bad...

And apparently the current species of banana is going extinct... and is being replaced by something else... but that's not in the movie...

and apparently there's a "preservation" part of the brain... that keeps you from killing yourself... and there's something going around in this movie, that only disables the part of your brain that prevents you from killing yourself in a rather hilarious fashion. Now, I have no idea if that actually made sense... far too many negatives in that sentence for me to feel like proof-reading it...

next bout of suicides, seems to be not quite so hilarious...

And just FYI, i'm totally going to ruin the inevitable end of movie twist... like the whole Bruce Willis is dead thing...

And apparently train operators have really fantastic hats. So, a possible career change in my future?

Marky Mark: "We're in a small town Jess. Nothing will happen to us here." They are so terrifically fucked..

and they just showed some footage of a guy committing suicide by lion... back to the hilarious suicides...

And apparently there's a town in Pennsylvania name Fillbert. Or Filbert or something. which doesn't seem to exist in real life...

and apparently making up statistics makes people feel better, even when you have just said that you're going to be making up statistics in the very near future... as in the next sentence... or maybe only when its John Leguizamo is doing it...

"Hot dogs get a bad rap. They got a cool shape. They got protein. You like hot dogs, right?" The world is ending, but they're fine, because they've got hot dogs and mustard... no word about ketchup/catsup yet.

And apparrently Jeeps are not the most airtight of vehicles. FYI. Especially the ones with saran wrap windows...

"Oh, its the army. We're safe." Yup, so terrifically fucked...

And they're in the middle of Pennsylvania, and the only person talking with someone from Princeton on the phone seems to be Canadian...

So far, the leading theory is that the plants got angry. or maybe terrorists. or maybe angry plant terrorists...

and apparently Army Dude is rocking a Sig. and shooting himself. and Marky Mark just called himself a douchebag.

certain people run in a hilarious fashion... such as waving their arms in circles as they go... with pretty much straight arms.. looks freaking ridiculous...

and now Marky Mark is talking to a plant in an attempt to make it less angry... and now he's getting relationship advice from a teenager... who just got shotgunned...

pretty sure that shooting holes in your windows is not the best way to keep yourself quarantined...

and I think they just used CG to make the blue mood ring yellow/orange. because its been blue this whole time... which apparently means peaceful

Apparently this movie was just a vehicle for M. Night Shyamamamamamalamalam's radical environmental views...

And the twist is... well, i'm not sure. Its probably that no one cares...

Actually it seems they're pulling a page from the NYC: Tornado Terror, and having France be fucked in the last scene...

So, the consensus in the room is that we're done with this guy's movies... I've had enough of typing his name... and the twist is that we just wasted 2 hours of our lives

Awesomeness.

Apparently I've already named something Awesomeness. Or so says my computer's auto-filling-stuff-out function.

Anyways, I just picked up a cameral and some sweet hats. So, perhaps I will have some new pictures to add... I can only hope that they keep up the standard of my current pictures... like the monkey licking things... although I think it'll be hard to top that one.

And something I learned from the previews last night before Max Payne:

If you're ever going to to kidnap someone, make sure that their dad isn't Liam Neeson.

Max Payne (the movie)


OK, I'll start off by saying that I played the video games, and I'll be tainted with that view...

I rather liked the movie. Not nearly enough shooting to do justice to the game.

Things which I would have included in the movie that the director chose not to:
-Shooting acetylene canisters and having them rocket off into the distance
-Painkillers. Lots of painkillers.
-Shooting the speaker in the elevator to kill the Muzak
-More bullet time. For one of the games that started the whole bullet time thing, they only did it once...
-The stupid elevator scene where you have to shoot the trip-mines as you're ascending in the elevator...
-The stupid scenes when Max is high on Valkyr where you're walking along the blood trail thing, or you fall off...
-More Mark Wahlberg looking constipated
-More duallies
-More baseball bat
-More Captain Baseball Bat Boy (or whatever he was called)

And other things that I might have forgotten... As you can see, if I directed the movie, I'd have added a bunch of stuff that only people who played the game would understand. And it would be hilarious for them, because those parts of the game were perhaps the most tedious parts. Or they were just so prevalent that I was surprised that they didn't show up.

Overall, I though it was a very well shot movie. Very atmospheric... always some sort of precipitation... mainly snow. Especially thought the scene (which was also from the trailer) with the snow on the pistol, which gets blown off when the pistol fires. It was also sort of shot with a very dark color scheme. And then when Marky Mark takes the Valkyr, it adds the fire-ish element to the color scheme.

I thought the Valkyr element was done quite well. Very interesting visual aesthetic. (See picture)

Sadly, no discussion of music in this blog post... nothing really stood out musically throughout the movie

and Hiro just killed Ando on Heroes.... which just completely ruined my train of though... because Ando is awesome...

And that chick is a whole lot less annoying and more attractive when she's on That Seventies Show. And has a MP5K.

And that other chick seems allergic to covering her boobs. The 2 movies I've seen her in (Hitman and Max Payne) she's worn a really slutty dress which has come off in very short order.

And I honestly can't remember what I was talking about. Hopefully the bring Ando back to life... because he's awesome... or maybe they should start a new show with Ando and Stark.

Speaking of which, I have no idea when Eureka is starting up again, but I'm hoping its soon... because that show is fantastic...

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Presidential Debat #3

Apparently dudes prefer Lumpy, and chicks prefer Militia... according to the wavy lines at the bottom of the screen...

and both candidates make terrific faces when the other dude's talking... but sadly they don't show the split-screen enough to take full advantage of it...

and Militia is going to let me keep my insurance... why thank you, jackass...

and now i'm bored, ADD, and tired...

Traffic Sucks

Yeah, pretty much... That's it...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

How do you figure out when I've posted?

So, a question for all my reader(s). How do you know when I've posted a new entry? Is there some automatic way of telling, or is it just a matter of checking the blog every so often?

Personally, I go for the posting method. If I've just posted something, then I know there's a new entry... Probably just works for me though...

Monday, October 13, 2008

Vipers

Jonathan Scarfe, Claire Rankin (2008) Genetically enhanced snakes escape from a reserach lab and terrorize townspeople.

Sci-Fi Saturday movie from 9/21... still catching up...

I'll be finishing listening to the Falconer album during commercial breaks, so you might see some additional comments from that... As it stands they have 3 songs on the album sung in Swedish... yay!

Sweet. Its got Don S. Davis in it. Got to love some General Hammond. RIP that guy.

And a couple of other names I think I recognize from Stargate...

And it starts off with some guy trying to steal some snakes from a research facility. But it ends up going horribly wrong, and the snakes get released...

And its got Corbin Bernsen in it. AKA Shawn's dad from Psych.

And Tara Reid. Wasn't she famous once? now she's just doing all sorts of bad sci-fi shit...

And now a couple's making out in their car... and I'm pretty sure that as she was taking her top off, there was some sort of microphone cable on her shirt that they covered up very poorly... and the movie is only about 20 minutes old, and they've already got people getting nekkid... and eaten by snakes...

And there's some sort of domestic squabble that I can't be arsed to care about... something about growing pot... and being a bitch...

And the dude who tried to steal the snakes is Corbin Bernsen's chief of security. And is now in charge of the recovery of the snakes from the random town where the movie is taking place. Oh no...

And I need to buy the new Indiana Jones movie. Still haven't seen it, but I probably should at some point... Just to complete the collection, if for no other reason.

Fish Head! Apparently some dude just caught a fish head while fishing...

And now some more boning... Which didn't get interrupted by snakes. Frankly I'm surprised... looks like its in fact some post-boning snake attacks... the dude has survived, since he's in the shower, but the chick just ate it...

And new guy main character was in the military with Tara Reid's ex-boyfriend... so they're probably gonna bone later... and apparently you can easily pick a lock with a scalpel... or something from a med-kit...

Dude just threw a knife and pinned a snake's head against the door... that's pretty damn impressive...

Based on the amount of screaming that happened during the time I was getting myself something to drink, I just missed a lot of people getting et...

and now everyone's in some sort of ice-cream truck... and the sherrif apparently bought the farm during my absence... and main character dude just got bit... but luckily this isn't a zombie movie, or he'd be fucked... and its far to early for that... but luckily his knee brace saved him...

and apparently their battle strategy is that snakes don't like the cold, because Tara Reid saw it on Animal Planet. That just inspires the greatest amount of confidence ever...

They just mentioned Pink Floyd's the Final Cut. I'm surprised... Figured they'd have chosen something more mainstream... like Dark Side of the Moon or The Wall... Now we'll see if they actually play the song later. If they do, I'm guessing it'll be in the final scene... but i'm thinking they probably won't as that involves paying for the rights to use it...

and now there was a scuffle, and some guy just got shot... somehow that always happens...

And if I ever refer to someone named Megan as "Megs", please feel free to punch me in the face...

And for the record, this is one of those "Evil Corporation" movies. All this is because of the evil corporation, and the guy from the evil corporation who seems to be trying to steal the snakes, which have been used for cancer-cure research, and use them for some nefarious purpose...

And apparently this was one of Don S. Davis' last roles before he died.

And they've take Evil Corporation Dude along with them on their "lure the snakes away" strategy... this can only end poorly... and for whatever reason, main character dud is walking behind the truck, rather than riding on it... he's probably gonna regret that later...

and thus dieth Evil Corporation Henchman...

and now they're making an IED. Which is what killed Main Character Dude's Friend/Tara Reid's ex-boyfreind...

and now Evil Corporation Dude just got bit... and is dying a lot quicker than the little kid at the beginning.

Evil Corporation Dude: Less Resilient Than A Small Child!

And apparently Corbin Bernsen has inherited the title of Evil Corporation Dude...

and dude just shot a hole in the greenhouse while trying to shoot at a snake... so they've lost their containment...

but luckily they were ready with "Operation Blow Everything Up". and executed it well... and somehow the guy managed to get far enough away from the explosion in a few seconds of running...

And now they're replaying a conversation that Corbin Bernsen had. In a news conference... looks like he's screwed... Finally, the evil corporation has gotten its just desserts... and not the tasty kind...

And someone left one of snakes in Corbin Bernsen's limo. And he got bit in the crotch... well, they didn't actually show where he got bit, but they showed him from just above the waist and up, but not where he got bit. so I can only assume...

Mulberry Street and Falconer

A sci-fi movie about some sort of disease carried by rats that turns people into zombie/rat/creatures...

So far, not actually that bad. Actually believable characters... i.e. people acting like you'd expect in those circumstances, no ridiculously attractive females who seem to be allergic to wearing shirts...

Might take me a while to get through it, as I'm trying to listen to the new Falconer album on YouTube during the commercial breaks...

And a glorious moment, where father reconnects with daughter... and then the third passenger gets pulled through the back window...

I must say, I do like the effect that they use sometimes, where something really action-ful is going on, but its all really quiet, or just some rather serene music... It works quite effectively...

And now since its commercial break, I can talk about music. Dreams and Pyres from the new Falconer album. Its got another effect that I really like. The song starts off all slow and melodic, and then after a little while goes all crazy and fast and loud. I likes it. Same thing with "The Reincarnation of Benjamin Breeg" on the latest Maiden album.

And I like how some company is advertising their extra large pizza like its something special... now rather than just large, its extra large! or something...

and now everyone's getting et by the rat creatures... just the dude and his daughter now...

and it ends how every zombie-type movie seems to. The authorities show up just after the main character gets bit, and then valiantly commits suicide, taking out the last of the attackers...

and then the other surviving main character gets shot in the boob by a tranquilizer...

and they didn't ruin the ending by having one of the creatures who was previously seemingly dead wake up, and then cut to black...

All in all, this was actually a rather good movie. I was pleasantly surprised. Enough character stuff to make you actually care about the characters, and enough action to keep you interested.

And a nice gritty filming style, made it seem sorta documentaryish...

I'd recommend watching it given the chance, if you don't mind the fact that I've ruined the ending for you...

And the new Falconer album continues the tradition of having at least one song sung in Swedish. Now its officially a Must-Buy for me...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

New TV Shows this season

As previously discussed, Knight Rider sucks..

While I feel compelled to like Sanctuary, because its done by people from Stargate, its just not doing it for me... I'll give it a few more episodes, and then pass final judgement.

Life On Mars seems like it'll be a keeper. Apparently its a remake of a British show, which was downright fantastic... well, the remake-ness is a fact. the fantasticness is the apparent part...

Needful Things

Based on the Stephen King book. Basically how I remembered it.

So, its worth a watch... nothing too particularly great, but its sorta interesting.

Basically the plot is that a shopkeeper comes to town and sell people things that they seem to want, and asks that they do a prank for him. And then everyone doing all those pranks ends up causing all sorts of chaos around the town.

And the shopkeeper has a really sweet Swedish accent... and really bad teeth... but a sweet car

The movie did have some sweet music. Some sort of classical music that really fit the pacing of the movie...

F1

So, Alonso the Cockbag won again. But whatever... he has no chance to win the Driver's Championship. The sad part is the Kimi Raikkonnen now has no chance to become the World Champion for the second year running. Poor Kimi. But at least we can hope that he sets Fast Lap for the next 2 races...

Felipe Massa, on the other hand, is not quite as much of a cock bag as Alonso is, but still, he basically rammed Lewis Hamilton, and got him off the road, and put him out of contention for the race... And then through a later collision with Sebastian Bourdais, ended up getting an extra point, since Bourdais was penalized by some amount of seconds... So, by being a humongous jerk, he manages to take 2 points out of Hamilton's lead in the championship, which is now down to 5, with 2 races to go.

So, basically, what needs to happen, is Massa and Hamilton need to crash out of both of the final races for the season, and Robert Kubica needs to win them both. He's currently down 12 points to Hamilton, and 7 to Massa. But he's a decent guy, and not a prima donna or whatever... just a guy who likes racing his car.

And it'd be sweet to have Kubica win the championship, as it would be nice to have someone win the championship who wasn't on the Ferrari or McLaren teams.

So, basically what I'm saying, is that you should root for Robert Kubica in the next 2 F1 races...

Yay

Feels good to get back on the bike. Granted, I'm horribly out of shape, but hey... at least I didn't biff horribly today... just fell over a few times... not too bad...

and thanks Su for answering my random pondering... Just reinforcing your #1 Commenter status...

although, honestly, no one's even trying to give you a run for you money...

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Dark Corners

Thora Birch, Toby Stephens (2006) A pregnant woman has disturbing visions of a serial killer and a mysterious look-alike (2:00) NR, 2 Stars.

Sci Fi Saturday movie from 9/20... finally getting around to watching it...

Something about some dead chick in a church... and some guy with a knife... who just disappeared... and kept reappearing...

And apparently this chick (who seems to have been dreaming) would do her boyfriend/fiance/husband/whateverthefuck if he died and was reincarnated as a horse, but not a dog. FYI

I'm not actually paying enough attention to figure out whether all these female characters are actually the same person or not... but I think that they're actually all one girl dreaming...

She's got some really strange dreams... some that are reminiscent of Saw, and some with really wrinkly old people... which is probably scarier...

and she works in a mortuary... and apparently her boss' brother fell out a window and got "pureed". granted I can't do the proper accents, but you get the picture... and now a dead naked dude just woke up... thank goodness for strategic Sci-Fi blurring...

Or not... she seems to work in an office... too damn many dreams to figure out...

and she feels "ookie". whatever the fuck that means...

and now I gotta poop. I'm tempted to not even pause this... Probably won't miss much... if anything...

I just found the new Climbing magazine. It was hiding under a box. Now that's some quality can reading.

But now its time to break from this, and move into something else... The Vice Presidential Debate...

I'll save it now, and update this when I'm watching it again..

And now its well over a week later... and I'm finally back to it... I'm really not motivated to do so, but I need to get it off the DVR...

This movie just typifies what I dislike about the Sci-Fi channel lately. Its doing a lot of horror stuff... with the Ghost Hunters and shit like that... I like the Sci-Fi stuff. Not so much the horror... And the Sci-Fi Saturday movie has been horror for the past few weeks, and not actually Sci-Fi. Granted this was from September 20th, so its been a while...

And I've just realized that in what seems to be the dream, she has dark hair, but blond hair in "real life". Although I'm guessing they're both alternate realities or something, and she's probably in a hospital or jail or something....

and now a blonde version of the character is in a dungeon or being tortured or something... and just got deaded... but its not the original blonde... because she's in the hospital getting fertility treatment... and apparently "blond" is for masculine, and "blonde" is for feminine... I didn't read enough of the Wikipedia article on the subject to tell me if this is archaic use of the terminology, or if its modern...

And now for a question on pajamas/night-time wear: So, the main character seems to be sleeping in her bra and panties, as well as a see-through slip/dress/nightgown thing... What the hell's the point of the nightgown thing... it don't cover up anything, and I can't imagine it provides any warmth or anything... seems completely pointless...

And now there are some creepy little kids... intriguing...

The dreams are definitely channeling a Saw vibe. Its a very dark and gritty footage. Overwhelmingly a lot of browns and greens. And the parts where the dark-haired character is at work, it is very reminiscent of the bathroom in the first Saw movie. I should probably take this opportunity to say that I didn't particularly like the Saw series of movies... I saw the first 2, and probably about half of the 3rd...

alright, so everyone's being deaded now... not really sure if i know who's "real life" and who's dreaming... and not sure I care either...

And I need to buy Iron Man on DVD. That's a fantastic movie. But I am disturbed by how the ads for it are using AClightningboltDC's Back in Black, rather than the more obvious Sabbath song...

And now, since I'm not sure which one's real and which one's a dream (even though they're both dreams, since we've all seen the SG2 episode "Changeling"), I'll be calling the one I previously referred to as the dream "Dirty", and the one I thought was real life will be called "Clean". For obvious reasons...

Apparently Clean is now pregnant... I had some point I was going to make after this statement, but I forgot it in the time it took me to explain my new terminology...

Sadly neither Wikipedia or IMDB have a decent summary, which would enable me to figure out what's going on, and then not have to actually pay attention...

You know what I haven't seen in a while? One of those movies where there's the wise old Indian (as in Injun, not from the sub-continent of India) character... there was a good long run of those... and usually the main character was half indian, half (usually) white. and everyone was biased against (usually) her, because of her "half-breed" nature...

and now dirty seems to be committing suicide with Judas Priest's British Steel. Or that's what I always think of when I see that style of razor blade.

Peanut Butter, Corn, and Tuna sandwich... sounds kinda terrible.

Seriously, I have no fucking clue what the hell's going on... I think i'm in the final act, so hopefully all will be revealed shortly...

and i just realized that they used the same set for Clean's bedroom, as clean's friend's bedroom... same upholstery and drapes and everything...

and apparently dirty just killed clean... and dirty just turned into the shrink... and then dirty's alarm went off... and she woke up, which i'm guessing is what happened at the beginning of the movie, but I can't remember, since it was well over a week ago...

Apparently hell is having your sins pulled out and served up to you and something something something endless cycle... so, yeah, that's about it...

Alien

I'd never actually seen it before.

Apparently Bilbo Baggins grew a bit, and is now a robot.

and they used the same explosion graphic three times in a row...

Friday, October 10, 2008

That one with the boat

And for tonight's episode of "I'm not wearing any pants", we shall be forgoing the DVR, and going to the DVD collection...

I just picked up all the James Bond movies, and decided to watch the one with the boat... Its got Pierce Brosnan and it takes place in Asia... apparently its called Tomorrow Never Dies. I'll probably go through them all in order at some point... but that involves me being significantly less lazy...

Apparently British naval vessels have a key somewhere in CIC which is labeled "Peace" and "War". Did not know that... The crewman's hand covered the switch in the shot, so I couldn't tell if there was a third setting of "Not really war, but I really want to shoot something".

Interesting opening credits... the see-through views of the guns and stuff... especially the Walther PPK. makes me more tempted to pick up an airsoft version. and the song is superior to Madonna's "Die Another Day". Which is likely to give you a seizure due to its continual starting and stopping... Worst. Bond Theme. Ever. But that's a different movie, and probably won't be mentioned again...

One of my new goals in life is to stand on one of those hatch things that slide to the side as they open. I really have no idea why that seems so nifty, but it just does...

And i'm pretty sure that Gian Drill Torpedoes of Doom have a completely different SONAR signature than regular torpedoes... mainly because they got a bunch of moving shit... and seem to be slow as balls...

And Mr. Carver said to ensure that they shot the British survivors with the proper amunition, and then the dude shot them with an M60. Pretty sure that the Chinese don't use 60s.

And Aston Martin makes some fantastic looking cars... much better than BWMs. especially the Z8. But that's not in this movie. Although the new Z4 hard top coupe thing looks pretty spiffy. But, again, that's not in the movie.

New goal #2: Hit someone with a cello. Or string bass... whatever... a big string instrument...

New goal #3: Change middle name to Götz. Probably could do without the bleached blond hair, though...

And now they're in the sunken ship. and its starting to roll for whatever reason... and they're stuck in the missile room because the racks of missiles fell over... you'd think they'd be bolted down or some shit, because you gotta figure that, as its a ship, its gonna encounter some heavy seas at some point, and do a bit of rocking back and forth. And i'm pretty sure you don't want missiles, torpedoes and other explosive jibba-jabba falling over in mid-voyage.

And Carver's guards are rocking Calicos... interesting choice in guns...

New goal #4: Hang giant pictures of my grape from skyscrapers...

Om nom nom nom,

My goatee tastes like Pho. Just in case you were wondering.

Out For Blood

Vampire movie. Not that good.

Until the end, when it all seems to be a hallucination that the main character had. Thought that was kinda an interesting twist... or at least more interesting than the rest of the movie... and they had to go and ruin it by having it not be a hallucination...

It had Vanessa Angel in it (or Freya/Anise from SG1). She bothers me...

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Shield

Porcupine Tree on the latest episode of The Shield.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

The Alamo (Actually more about Soundtracks)

I'm impressed by what kind of a difference music makes in a movie.

Thus far (I'm almost at the end, as the Mexicans have started their attack), the best scene has been what is essentially a duet between Billy Bob Thornton as Davy Crockett and the Mexican Army Band. And the music that is accompanying the Mexican attack is quite good.

And the best scene of Equilibrium is not the multiple scenes of Christian Bale fucking people's shit up, but the scene with Beethoven's music and the Snow Globe. If you've seen the movie, you probably know what I'm talking about...

And I think the only reason I'd be compelled to buy 300 on DVD is because I thought the soundtrack was quite good... An interesting heavy metal type instrumental sound track for a more classical subject matter...

And now back to the movie. I thought it quite good that they included what seems to be an homage to the painting "The Fall of the Alamo", which is pretty much the only thing I knew about the Alamo prior to watching this movie, and reading the Wikipedia article.

Billy Bob Thornton is very good as David Crockett (apparently he prefers David to Davy). Defiant to the last. Dennis Quaid plays Sam Houston. Who I would have thought would have had a bigger role. But then again, I knew nothing about the battle of the Alamo. But he does have some fantastic side-burns... and a soul-patch to go with it... And you gotta figure he'd wear a cowboy hat. Being Texian and all (apparently they're called Texians, not Texans). But nope, you'd be wrong. He seems to enjoy rocking the Tri-cornered hat.

And now for what is apparently (according to Wikipedia) called the Battle of San Jacinto. Best strategy ever. Bring your forces in, bring in your cannons, and open up... and some dude just flying tackled some Mexican. Came flying from off screen and tackled the shit out of some guy...

And a nice reprise of Crockett playing the violin to end it...

Although it is hard to root against Santa Anna. He's got fantastic taste in hats... and clothes in general.

All in all, I think this was quite a good movie. Potentially one of the first good movies that I've reviewed in quite some time. A good amount of character drama, and building suspense, and then a little bit of action. I'd actually recommend watching it, and doing so is not preferable to punching yourself in the business.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

Tonight's episode was quite good. I like the parallel between the reading of The Wizard of Oz, and the ambush of the Huge Terminator Guy.

And Derek Reese is pretty badass... hipshooting a .50 multiple times in rapid succession...

That's weird

It seems that when I do a draft of a post, and then come back to it, blogger puts the time stamp as when I started the draft, not when i finished...

so, there's a new post underneath the vice presidential debate blathering...

Sunday, October 5, 2008

NYC: Tornado Terror

Something about tornadoes and super-storms and shit... in New York.

And they end it by saying that the storm is moving east and dissipating. At which point my brother made a comment "And the storm is moving over Europe, and no one cares".

The final scene was set in Paris, with all the hallmarks of the super-storm showing up. And the final shot was a freeze frame of a poodle staring into the wind looking rather strange...

The Legend of Earthsea

Um, something about Iceman being a wizard... and earth and see, presumably...

apparently Iceman released some sort of evil being because of a quarrel with a fellow school-mate... and no one knows its name, so therefore no one has power over it... I imagine that'll be remedied in the second half...

and now Danny Glover just gave him a pimp-cane

funniest scene thus far: really old lady casting fireballs with an old-lady-angry-face...

And Mr. Talmedge from 7 Days just got knifed in the chest when the bad guy knifed him through the chest... the traitor who let them in the castle was the school-mate who was feuding with Iceman. Predictably...

And Vincent from Eureka is Iceman's wizard friend.

And the dragon seems to have a lisp.

And the bad guy was "the darkness that was inside" Iceman... and now he's absorbed it... so, he's probably gonna start kicking ass sometime soon... hopefully....

but he seems to have only aided in the release of all the ugly bat critters... and then they reunited the amulet bits together... and accomplished something... whatever that might be...

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Vice Presidential Debate

Joe Biden vs. Sarah Palin...

This should be interesting... I'm not expecting too much from either of them... we'll see... Although, I must say, they are the 2 people I most would like to see in HD... oh wait...

I'm impressed by how much Sarah Palin looks like Tina Fey... and thus starts the nicknames...

And again, as when I was watching the Presidential debate, the sound was slightly off synch with the picture... and then i changed the channel, and it was fixed... i started off with a different channel this time, and ran into the same issue. and the same solution fixed it...

There's a lot of discussion about Lumpy... Tina Fey keeps talking about what he's been up to lately, and Oldy McWeirdcolors McSquintyeyes keeps referring to him as well... I suppose they're just running mates, so there'll probably be a lot of reference to the candidates...

Oh, now we're talking about Militia... and about all the taxes he's raised...

Tina Fey just talked to "Government" by referring to it as such...

Just FYI, I have the attention span of... uh... some one with a short attention span... so you likely won't get any sort of meaningful political crapulence out of this blog... it'll be a list of things that amuse me...

Oldy just refered to Lumpy as Militia... how's that for confusing?

And neither of them are actually answering the questions that are being asked.. and the moderator just called them out on it...

Oh wait... i was watching the debate and blogging... that's what i should have been doing...

GAH!!! Stop saying Nukular... At least Oldy pronounces it right.

Sarah Palin seems to have prepared a few talking points before the debate. She keeps trying to steer the debate to these topics, even if they're only slightly related to what the rest of the discussion is about...

And apparently someone from Bosnia is a Bosniac... that's pretty sweet...

I've had quite enough of this... I'm tired, and being to ADD to actually figure out what the hell is going on...

So, to conclude:

Who won this debate?

That would be me. Because I'm not wearing any pants...

and now I have to go pee...


For reference:
Militia = Barack Obama
Lumpy = John McCain
Tina Fey = Sarah Palin
Oldy McWeirdcolors McSquintyeyes = Joe Biden

FYI

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Where Eagles Dare

Didn't watch this one because of Stargate. Iron Maiden instead...

Anyways, Clint Eastwood MP40s a lot of Krauts...