Crazy Eights

Traci Lords (2006) Six childhood friends get together to face a terror from their past. Sci-Fi Saturday movie from 10/11.

Rated R. So there might be boobs. We'll see... I'm intrigued how blurred out Sci-Fi channel boobs will look when I take a picture of them with my camera, and then post on my blog. Stay tuned.

So. Time for predictions. Anyone else see the description and think of Stephen King's It? I did.

And Fiona from Burn Notice is in this movie. Currently wearing overalls and no shirt. I'd say the boob-age factor just increased...

Thus far we've been introduced to David Caruso Gone Wrong, Fiona, and Combat Leotard Chick from that sphinx movie... There are a couple of others, but I don't care enough to provide them with nicknames.

Normally, I'd read the Wikipedia summary of the movie, but its too dang long. And apparently Traci Lords used to be a porn actress. Boob-age factor rising more...

And FYI Jamie Bamber sounds strange with his british accent. I'm so used to his generic American accent that he uses on Battlestar Galactica (as Apollo, in case you were wondering), that it strikes me as strange.

And David Caruso Gone Wrong is cursing up a storm. So, maybe its rated R due to language, rather than boobs. Cast seems to be a bit older than the usual sci-fi movie.

So apparently this blog post is going to be about boobs. And whether or not they're going to show up in this movie. I think I may be over analyzing the issue. But hey, its my blog, so I can do with it what I want. Take that, world.

If you got trapped in some creepy hospital thing, and saw a jar of instant coffee, would you trust it? Because I sure as hell wouldn't. But I guess I'm not in a bad sci-fi movie.

And Fiona appears to have ripped her jaw off. Looks like the chances of boobs is decreasing. In that there are now only 2/3rds as many of them.

And there's a chair on wheels. Which, instead of a normal seat, has a toilet seat. I must have one of these chairs. Just think of all the mobile pooping hijinks...

They need to stop advertising the hell out of Sanctuary. Because thus far, its not very good.

No boobs yet, by the way.

And DCGW has now seemingly been killed. Thank goodness. He was freaking annoying.

Dammit. The TV rating of this is TV MA LV. So language and violence. No boobs. Now with that disappointment out of the way, I'm gonna have to complain about the Wikipedia article. Its completely out of order, compared with what I'm seeing on screen. I'm pretty sure that they've edited the movie to be shown on TV, but editing the order of scenes makes positively no sense...

And previously unmentioned Preacher Man just got broomhandle'd to death. And not the cool kind of broomhandle (the Mauser kind). Just the regular old wood kind. Or maybe metal. Whatever.

Frankly, I think that had I not been reading the Wikipedia page while watching this, I wouldn't have a freaking clue what's going on. Either a very poorly made movie, or a very poorly edited movie.

OK, seriously. Stop with the jump cuts already. I've had enough. Its late, and I'm tired, and its giving me a headache. Thanks.

The ending can only be described as: Whadafug?

So, after Frailty or whatever it was called, and Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe, this was a bitter disappointment. Especially due to the lack of boobs.

So, no boobs, no pictures.