Wild Hogs

Tim Allen, John Travolta (2007) Looking for adventure, frustrated suburbanites hit the open road and encounter rough-and-tumble bikers.

You don't ever want to see John Travolta do some sort of weird pelvic thrusting dance. Trust me.

Also, Tim Allen and Travolta don't wear helmets. Because they're dumbasses...

"Hey guys. This is poop. Don't eat it."

Seem the William H. Macy character is going to be the ridiculous comic relief type.

Also: Ape Hangers = ridiculous. As are those trike things.

Also: Tim Allen and John Travolta have not aged well. They have saggy man-boobs. I'd highly recommend against seeing either of them shirtless.

It would appear that the entire point of this movie is to make the viewer despise John Travolta even more. If that's possible.

Seriously? What the hell was I thinking when I recorded this movie? Because its terrible. And there's really no chance of it not being terrible. And to think that I decided to stop watching Eureka for this? What came over me?

And of the 4 main characters, 2 just got attacked by a bull. One of them wasn't John Travolta. I was sad.

"The music moves me. But it moves me ugly."

And they're definitely advertising the shit out of Sons of Anarchy during this movie. Which I guess makes sense. In that they're similar. In that they both involve motorcycles. Oh wait. That's the only similarity...

But now there's a big brawl. And John Travolta's getting his ass beat... So, it seems that this movie has that going for it.

Also, I have to pee. But I guess on the plus side, that means I'm hydrated...