Sand Serpents

Jason Gedrick, Michelle Asante (2009) U.S. soldiers encounter giant, man-eating serpents while fighting the Taliban in Afghanistan.

SciFi Saturday (Or Whatever its now called) movie from 7/11.

Let the Dune references begin!

If only I'd reviewed this first thing in the morning or after a nap or something. That way I could say "The Sleeper has Awoken!" and have it actually be apt. Instead, I'm just gonna have to interject it at random times, and it will be a needless reference to David Lynch's film version of Dune from 1984 or so. Hot damn, I'm awesome. It was in fact 1984. The Sleeper has Awoken!

OK, so now its a phrase that denotes triumph. Interesting. Lets see how many other ways I can use it in this review to mean something different. And now, I'm actually going to watch the movie, rather than typing a whole lot while watching the DVR menu. The Sleeper has Awoken! (I'm not sure if that's just because that phrase is how I'm going to end paragraphs from now on, or if it just means "Onwards!". In any case, The Sleeper has Awoken!

Oh, good. They're trying to be all artistic with the first shot starting all out of focuse and stuff, and then some folks gradually come into focus. And the second shot is the exact same style. This could get really annoying. Also, it seems that this movie is "Syfy presents", rather than "The Sci Fi Channel Presents". FYI. Or in this case "The Sleeper Has Awoken!".

Also, the soldiers are wearing the old desert camo, with woodland camo gear. No indication of what service they are. I'm guessing Army, as I think I may have just glimpsed an "Airborne" tab. Oh, OK. They're engineers. By which I mean, the US Army Corps of Engineers Maybe that tab I saw was an "Engineer" tab, and not airborne. Oh, never mind. Just one of them seems to be an engineer. And some of the, are wearing desert camo gear. Their tactical gear is covering up the place on their BDUs where their service would be noted. But from their discussions, it seems that they are actually Army Reservists. The Sleeper Has Awoken!

Also, it seems I'm being rather inconsistent. Sometimes I capitalize "has", and other times I don't. The Sleeper Has Awoken!

Also, the SAW gunner is doing a whole lot less shooting than just the regular riflemen. And the tab did in fact say "Airborne".

OK, enough of that. I might be more enthusiastic with carrying that joke well beyond the point where it were funny if I'd actually gotten around to copying it, rather than having to type it out fully every time. Also, their BDUs say "U.S. Army". I have no idea if Army reserves have a Reserve-specific tape for their BDUs.

Also, apparently terrorists with mini-cams have no idea how to shoot action. Alot of shaking and not actually showing us what was going on. So, thanks to him, we have yet to see the Shai-Hulud.

And now we've actually seen the Shai-Hulud. And true to Shai-Hulud form, they are attracted vibrations and sound. No one's thought to make a "thumper" yet to distract the dastardly Sand Worms. Perhaps none of them read or saw anything from the Dune series.

Also, it seems that the Army Reserves has a much laxer standard for facial hair than the regular Army. In that almost everyone is rocking some sort of facial hair.

Also, some guy just caught a grenade that the bad guys threw, and thew it back at them. Luckily, everyone was just as incredulous that he just did that...

I was really hoping that someone would fall asleep or pass out or something in this movie. That way, when the came to, I'd be able to use my favorite line...

Dangit. It never happened.

Still, actually not that bad a movie. I'm a little bit impressed that it didn't suck.

THE SLEEPER HAS AWOKEN!