Locusts: The 8th Plague

Dan Cortese, Julie Benz (2005) Scientists and investigators must destroy a swarm of flesh eating locusts before the bugs become too numerous.

Excellent. This movie's got that David Coulthard look-alike in it... Sadly, he's still lacking the Scottish accent that makes Coulthard awesome. But he does have a southern/Texas accent. That's not quite as good, but still makes it a bit better.

Basically, the movie seems to be about genetic engineering gone wrong. Not that it's gone wrong yet, but it likely will in the next few seconds... Coulthard is spectacularly angry though... seems their test's gone wrong, and now carnivorous locusts are about to be running rampant...

And they seem to have followed the Jurassic Park model of genetic engineering. Make it so they can't breed, but somehow they still manage to mutate and start boning....

And the main character's name is Colt. That's right up there with Brody among the World's dumbest male first names.

And apparently when you combine bad SciFi computer graphics with flame-throwers, you get what appear to be lasers... or Ghost Busters ray-gun things. Whatever those things are called.

And there are military grade pesticides. I don't really know why, but I guess that even the military needs to kill shit-tons of insects rapidly. PMDs maybe. Pesticides of Mass Destruction... Man, I'm hilarious.

And now the lead actress seems to have developed a lisp between the last scene and this one...

Something I just learned. A locust, just flying normally, can fly through a human's neck and out the other side, without causing any ill effects on its flight path. Start getting scared now, puny humans! And helicopters, too.

Also, amusement park rides (especially that free-fall tower ride) keep working, even if the operators have fled. Either that or the operators in this movie are the most amazingly twisted people ever...

Did you know that a large mass of insects disrupts radio transmissions? Science, bitches. It works.

Tip for life: If you ever get attacked by a horde of genetically engineered locusts, you're better off if you only eat organic foods and stuff... The dirty hippies shall truly inherit the earth.

A major plot point of this movie is that the locusts were somehow made stronger by pesticides. The main character then leapt to the conclusion that the locusts were immune to any sort of chemical weapons as well. Seems like a large (and pretty insane) leap of logic. Or rather illogic.

PS. Crop dusting airplanes are spectacularly ugly.

This Silogen company has the most spectacularly ineffective security guards ever. They'll just mention to you that you can't go somewhere, and then not follow up on it in any way...

If you see that one killer locust just flew by your car, would your first instinct be to stick your head out the window? Because that's what the CEO of this company did. You'd think he may have known the immense stupidity of his plan. But his head was incredibly square (being that he was the Coulthard look-alike). So, I guess that might explain it. Or maybe not. Who cares. This movie's almost done, so we really don't have to care for all that much longer.

And the main actress' father is played by the same actor who plays Lapidus on Lost. But he looks really strange because he's got a rather short hair cut. Speaking of Lost, was that Waimea Falls in the latest episode where they get back to the island? It looked very similar, and I notice they never showed a shot where they showed the falls an the opposite shore (where the lifeguard hut and amphitheater thing are)...

And they just blew up the facility with the bugs inside. The people watching from quite some distance apparently got blown over by the shockwave. Which didn't affect the wheat field between the building and them... Science! I guess... Eh, who cares...