Beowulf

Interesting soundtrack. It seems to be a medieval movie with a techno-esque soundtrack.

The title character is a guy with short bleach-blond hair, who seems to be trying to channel his inner Peter Stormare. Peter Stormare is awesome. This guy, not so much... Apparently he's actually The Highlander.

Seems to be some sort of post-apocalyptic/medieval combination.

And everyone seems to have some sort of Scandinavian accent, and yet there are black people.

OK, its officially some sort of post apocalyptic setting. The body bags have zippers.

And apparently Grendel's mother is incapable of covering her boobs to the satisfaction of the Sci-Fi Channel Censors. So after much anticipation and discussion, I present to you: Blurred Sci-Fi Channel Boobs. Enjoy.

And since I don't really know what order these pictures are gonna show up, I also present you with a bunch of dudes. Thankfully fully clothed. Guy on the left is Highlander/Beowulf. Guy on the right is Hrothgar/Guy-Who-Looks-Like-Oded-Fehr. And maybe we'll get a picture of Grendel, if I'm feeling feisty. He's pretty much the only character who I haven't picturized yet.

And this Roland guy seems to either smoke sticks, or really suck at rolling his own cigarrette things... They're all bendy.

And now Grendel's mother is now tempting Roland with her boobs. He thought it was a dream. To which she responded by showing her boobs, and saying "Is this real enough for you?" Apparently in this post-apocalyptic future/past/whatever, hallucinations or dreams never have boobs... or something like that. I'm not really sure.

Apparently Beowulf's father is Ba'al. Here pronounced Bale. Or maybe he's saying that Christian Bale is his father. I wonder if he's gonna be anywhere near as badass as his father as this movie winds down. Either Ba'al or Bale...

OK, I think he just might succeed. He seems to get from place to place by back-flipping. or maybe that's just how he fights. Either way, its pretty hilarious. Although he does seem to make occasional use of the front flip. Sadly the bad guys don't share his propensity for acrobatics, or this would be the best movie ever...

And Grendel's dead now. So looks like we won't be getting any pictures.

And apparently Beowulf's loins burn. Might wanna get that looked at...

And something just happened with a knife, some blood, and some fire. I'm not really sure. But it seems that everyone's dead now, except for Beowulf and that chick...

Well, that was tewwible... Or maybe I should end it with a period, so you know I'm done with this filth.