Lost City Raiders

James Brolin, Ian Somerhalder (2008) In the wake of natural disasters, two men scour the Earth for treasures.

Sci Fi Saturday movie from 11/22.

Basically Global Warming happened. And sunk 90% of the ground underwater. Manages to sink Paris, but it seems a good portion of Rio is still above water. I'm almost curious enough to see what Paris' elevation is, but not quite enough to actually look for it.

And New Rome seems to be regular Rome, but with some bonus water. And New Vatican bears a striking resemblance to regular Vatican. They seem to really suck at naming things. I'm wondering why they bother to call them "New" when they're at the same place as the old version.

"On the eastern side of the building, there's a circular wall-break". I'm pretty sure those are called windows. Or maybe "New" windows.

And apparently the Templars stole the Scepter. For some reason. I'm not really sure what the scepter is, but apparently the Vatican's looking for it.

And now everyone seems to have some sort of accent. I'm kind of enjoying it. Except for the fact that I have little to no idea who anyone is, aside from the 3 main characters. But what I don't particularly enjoy is the fact that no one can act worth a damn.

And now the old dude just randomly set off a concussion grenade. Which seems to have incapacitated the bad guys, and killed himself. Or at least skooshed him under some big ass rock. And blond evil guy seems to enjoy gangsta shooting. What with the sideways Glock and all. And he just got knocked off his jet-ski thing, and made the weirdest squeal type noise. Twas glorious.

Apparently the scepter is supposed to be Moses' scepter, which will enable them to stop the rising seas. Apparently Captain Evil wants to use it to sink almost all of the world, rent all the rich people condos on the remaining land, while buying all the underwater land, and then lowering sea levels again once he owns everything.

But I really don't see how he intends to do any of this, as his boat is now sinking after being rammed by the good guys' boat. Somehow it sunk after all the damage was done above the water line. That's the kind of shoddy workmanship that probably caused this disaster in the first place.

And now that the good guys have the staff, it shows them where Cosmic Energy Convergence Points. Whatever the hell those might be. And the actress definitely forgot her lines. She was discussing plate tectonics, and halfway though the work tectonics, she stopped, glanced at the scepter, which is likely hiding her lines, and then started again once she figured out what she was supposed to say. I'm kind of amused that the director left that in. Even if what I interpreted isn't the case, it still makes the actress and the director look quite bad, as that's what it seems to be.

And apparently gravity as normal does not apply to these Cosmic Energy Whatchamahoosits... There's some rather comical fighting going on right next to this giant pit. Most of which looks like, if normal physics applied, they'd have fallen in the hole about 6000 times already.

Apparently the trick to solve global flooding is to blow a giant hole in the earth's crust, and drain the water back into the center of the earth. Science!