Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Some Random Ass Sci-Fi movie that I don't even remember the title of, and it doesn't really matter, and yeah...

Well, I watched some movie that I taped off the sci-fi channel... well actually DVRed, but that's essentially the same thing.

Granted, I only finished watching it about an hour ago, but I've already largely forgotten what went on.

Apparently some alien race showed up and demanded that the world sacrifice 8 million people for some strange reason... something about a disease, that somehow, inexplicably, human "essence" or some shit was the cure... so the main character's daughter gets chosen to be sacrificed by some twisted lottery... (I wonder if people had to buy tickets... cause that would both suck terribly, and be rather hilarious... "look ma! I won... and my prize is... oh damn...")

Anyways, stupidity, and really crappy looking weapons ensue... and so does Carl Weathers, sadly not promoting Burger King, or other fine dining establishments where one is capable of getting free refills on one's drinks...

So, seriously, I was having the damndest time trying to figure out what the weapons they were using were. Looked like AKs with some crazy ass stock, and an M4 carry handle. And a weird barrel/flash-hider... and the aliens used scraps of plexiglass...

Anyways, the good guys use some technology they reverse engineered from the Roswell crash (which naturally are the same aliens as are currently oppressing the world), and blow up some satelite/space station thing, which they just randomly started referring to when they were about to blow it up, and I don't remember them referencing before, so, until they actually blew it up, I hadn't the foggiest clue what they were actually trying to blow up...

I think it was Alien Siege... or something...

Unless that was the one with Bruce Campbell as the doctor guy who ends up saving the world by, well, being Bruce Campbell. Or that might have been Alien Apocalypse... I don't even freaking know anymore... all these shitty Sci-Fi movies blend together into one horrendous amalgamation of stupidity, shit, and.... uh... shit. But they're glorious in that respect.

I also watched Mask of Zorro a while back... or it might be called something else... its the one where Anthony Hopkins is inexplicably hairy and Mexican... and Zorro. Basically, I only watched it because it had Bra'tac in it. And as we all know Bra'tac is awesome... and really hard to type because the apostrophe key is dangerously close to the return key.

Anyways, I've just discovered that I like making new paragraphs for things... I seem to do that alot... whatever...

Anyways some more, I discovered why Zorro is cool. Because he's always so happy when he's stabbificating people... he seems to find great joy in prancing around and stabbing random goons. Whatever floats his boat...

Best line: Original Zorro: "Do you even know how to use that?" (referencing a sword)
Zorro in Training: "Yeah, the pointy end goes into the other guy." *weird face*

And earlier, I discovered why I like Batman. I realize that I have already told this theory to my sole reader, but hey, whatever, now it'll be in print.

He hits people. With people.

Sheer brilliance.

And while I was laying on the couch earlier, I have decided what my autobiography (or biography if I'm too damn lazy to write it) will be called:

"I'm Not Wearing Any Pants: The Al Gore Story"

Behold the power of a little bit of bad sci-fi, a decent amount of GRE studying, and a lot bit of crazy...

1 comment:

Su said...

I am going to focus on the one important part of that... yay GRE stuying.