Larva

So, the sci-fi movie that I'm watching right now is Larva.

Basically some little parasite things are infesting cows due to some company's cattle feed. and now its somehow infecting humans...

I'm about halfway through at this point, and a larva thing just exploded out of some dude's stomach. and after being off screen for a little bit, it managed to grow to about twice the size of a person... and there was still plenty of dude left after the thing exploded out of his tummy..

And now we've entered the inevitable "Prowl around the place looking for the critter while it kills random people we don't even care about" phase of the movie... The scene just changed to some dude in the morgue of the hospital... i'm pretty well sure he's fucked, as we've never seen him before... and he probably won't survive another few minutes...

Actually, he just survived his opening scene... things are looking up for Doctor Red Shirt... and as I type this, he just got et by the critter... I was really pulling for him after he managed to get off screen without dying... But alas, he lived up to his name...

So, now the Vet (who was disgraced previously for some reason that I don't even remember, or much are about) and Hairy Farmer Dude (who was initially hostile to Vet) are now prowling the halls of the hospital looking for the critter... as the name of the phase of the movie seems to imply...

And Vet just shot the critter that was laying on top of Hairy Farmer Dude with a pistol. And everything up until now has seemed to be pretty much a sack of goo... so somehow this sack of goo just stopped a bullet from going into Hairy Farmer Dude. Either a crappy gun, or some very reslient goo...

And now for a brief interlude of typing the previous paragraph: Evil Corporation Dude is eating dinner with his family, and making lots of strange noises... I really don't understand...

Oh great... now Evil Corporation Dude's assisstant has joined forces with Vet and Hairy Farmer Dude in an attempt to slay the evil beasties... And she's playing the role of "token attractive woman with an accent"

And now for the inevitable nekkidness... infected dude is making out with some chick, and just got her bra off before exploding a thing out of his gut... and she managed to get her bra back on before running out of the car away from the critter.

And since I haven't actually told you what the "plot" is, I should probably tell you now... The corporation run by Evil Corporation Dude has been giving feed to local farmers that has been laced with some sort of drugs that are supposed to help the cattle in some way, but are instead making the parasites crazy...

And Hairy Farmer Dude just happens to have a "Basement O' Guns". Glad they ended up teaming up with that guy...

But so does Evil Corporation Guy... Although it looks like he's got a collection of shotguns that he could choose from. So he chose the break-open double barrel, rather than a pump action... I guess he's figuring that he's so awesome he only needs 2 shots to stave off the incoming horde of critters. Or he's resigned to the fact that he's the villain, and thus is fucked no matter how many shells he has loaded...

I wonder if in some alternate universe, he doesn't have a goatee, and is thus known by his peers as Benevolent Coproration Dude...

ANd apparently i haven't been paying nearly enough attention, because now the good guys are driving a tanker truck around, spewing what is likely some sort of flammable liquid... Or maybe its actually fertilizer... becuase they made some reference to the parasites being attracted to it. Well, if I'd just waited a while, I would have noticed that the truck says "Fertilizer" on the back... So basically, the dude is driving around spreading shit around this small time... Which leads me now to wonder why their connecting their Fertilizer truck to the sewer....

And as I ponder that last thing, Evil Corporation dude just bought it... As my brother says: "Om Nom Nom Nom".

Oh yeah.. they seem to be relying on fertilizer's explosive qualities, rather than its shit-like qualities... Yup. they blew up all the critters... and I think I can frankly say: I don't even care.

So, now it looks like there's gonna be some sort of romantic postlude... But no, it just ended with a shot of Evil Corporation Dude's Assisstant's crotch as she lays in a hospital bed... I really don't understand...