Stargate Universe

I like the Young, Greer, and Eli characters.

I'm not a particular fan of the Scott character. Him and his incredible need to make out or bone someone or another in every episode. And I'm not a big fan of the Chloe Armstrong character either.

Wrong Turn 2

Erica Leerhsen, Henry Rollins (2007) Deranged cannibals terrorize a group of contestants competing on a reality TV show in the wilderness of West Virginia.

Some annoying character just got her lower lip bit off by some cannibal-type guy. And then got chopped in half by another guy with an axe. Lengthwise. I think this movie might get full marks just for this.

Because this is one of those After Dark Horrorfest movies. Also, it seems that if this movie and the next one get full marks, the Horrorfest will be batting .500. So, there's still a chance.

Hrm. Looks like that guy from Sons of Anarchy is in this. An in his first scene in this movie, he seems to have more lines than his entire run thus far on the show...

And the reality show seems to be a post-apocalyptic sort of thing. Seems completely ridiculous and over-the-top.

And for some reason a Marine went to West Point.

Female taking her top off 30 minutes in.

And since this movie takes place in West Virginia, everyone's really ugly, deformed, a cannibal, and probably inbred.

Also, a pretty awesome shot of female character through the forest, away from the ugly cannibal folks. Who then gets axed in the head mid-shot. I think I'm gonna have to give this movie full marks due to the random and ridiculous ways folks have died thus far. One can only hope it'll increase in awesomeness.

Also, I'm feeling generous due to the fact that Trans Siberian Orchestra finally came out with their latest album "Night Castle". And Transatlantic, too. Especially since I thought that Transatlantic wasn't going to come out with any new stuff after Neal Morse changed his focus.

Tip for Life: If you shoot a deformed, ugly, inbred, cannibal hillbilly with a shotgun, it'll get some impressive air-time... Also, they generally look like they're wearing really fake masks. Maybe because they are.

And some zany old man just got blowed up with dynamite.

And Colonel Sons of Anarchy has survived significantly longer than I ever would have imagined when he first showed up. And as soon as I typed that. To quote Strongbad: "ARROWED!" ANd now "Death Boloed".

And then a lot of ugly people just got wood-chippered.

So, terrible movie, but its got some characters you really don't like dying in spectacularly ridiculous ways. So, I guess its a win...

And I do mean terrible. With a capitol R, G, and Q. And squirtle. Definitely a capitol squirtle.

Castle

Richard Castle's potential Halloween costume is freaking awesome. By the way.

Also, he uses a Dremel to carve pumpkins.

Also, I want to be Nathan Fillion when I grow up.

Heroes

You know who I never want to have to see boning someone? Matt Parkman.

Just figured I'd throw that public service announcement out there.

In other news, I'm not wearing any pants.

From Within

Elizabeth Rice, Thomas Dekker (2008) As a rash of suicides hits a small town, Lindsay fears she will be next.

Another one of those After Dark Horrorfest things. This time with that guy from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

And apparently its directed by a man named Phedon Papamichael. That man has a fantastic name.

Female character in her bra 11 minutes in. FYI.

And then later on, a scantily clad female character running around in a white tanktop in the rain... They do a decent job of covering the adult bits, but not perfect...

And this movie keeps telling me what day it is. Like I'm paying attention. Pshaw.

And Thomas Dekker is, once again, and emo kid.

And apparently its the wacko religious folks who are to blame. Some witches or atheists or something just wanted to live their own lives, and then those dastardly fundamentalist Christian folks didn't let that happen. So then there was a curse...

And apparently on the 6th day, God created the bolt-action rifle. A bumper sticker told me so, so it must be true.

Actually, it seems that its all Thomas Dekker's fault. He started the curse that's killing everyone. Not entirely sure why, but he did. Perhaps they explained it earlier, while I was eating. And as you all should know, food is far more important to me than these shitty movies.

Apparently this curse causes you to see some sort of evil doppelganger, who then stalks you and assists you in committing "suicide".

Also, Thomas Dekker apparently has Saturn tattooed on his forearm. Also known as the SciFi Channel's logo. No wonder they're showing this crap. Just a bit too late, since the whole name-change thing earlier this year, and the subsequent logo change. And now has just killed himself. Something to do with ending the curse or something.

And if I cared enough to remember what the AfterDark Horrorfest's score was up to this point, I might go so far as to re-state it now. But this movie gets no points. I'm relatively certain that mans that the festival as a whole has no chance of getting to .500. But I really have no idea anymore. Oh, ever mind, this movie was just put out by After Dark Films, but wasn't part of the Horrorfest. And I've decided that this movie actually got full marks, due to the last scene. Where it shows that all the characters in the town committed suicide, because crazy Christian dude shot Thomas Dekker before he committed suicide, and thus was unable to break the curse. And since I didn't care for any of the characters, their mass apocalypse mildly amuses me enough to give this movie a point. But, unfortunately, as it is not part of the Horrorfest, it cannot help the score...

Starship Troopers

Just picked up the DVD for stupid cheap.

What a delightfully random and ridiculous movie.

You'd think that after their disastrous showing during that first battle, the Mobile Infantry might have tried to develop a weapon more suited to fighting the bugs, than the small caliber Morita rifle that they use for the whole film.

Also, Jake Busey seems just as insane as his father Gary. Or maybe its just the hair and the teeth that make him look that way.

Also, now for some incredibly random randomness. Denise Richards' character in that James Bond movie was named Christmas Jones. The actress who plays Betty Draper on Mad Men is named January Jones. I wonder if they're related.

Also, why the hell would they keep their fleet so closely bunched together? Basically all you'd need to do is just fire a couple of random shots, and you'd be guaranteed to hit something. Much like the bugs did in this movie.

Also, speaking of bugs, are they ever going to make a film adaptation of Ender's Game? That could be either really, really good, or really, really terrible.

Also, I'm impressed by the amount of "That Guys" there are in the movie. Lassiter from Psych, Neil Patrick Harris, and a bunch of others...

2009 Malaysian Motorcycle Grand Prix

Well, blog-favorite Valentino Rossi clinched another MotoGP World Championship. And celebrates in a way that somehow involves a chicken wearing a tiny helmet, and an oversized egg.

Massive high-side for blog-other-favorite Randy de Puniet.

So, now Rossi has 7 MotoGP championships, along with 2 in the other classes (125cc and 250cc). So, he's still kicking ass, even though he's an "old hen" or whatever.

Valtentino Rossi Podium Speech Challenge:
Poosh: Nope
Fantahstik: Nope
Yor-geh: Check

Dani Pedrosa did use the word "poosh" during his 2nd place interview bit.

Red Bull

What sports doesn't Red Bull sponsor?

And why are their cars so attractive? I really like their F1 car, and I also like the coloration of Sebastien Loeb's Citroen C4 World Rally Car.

Oh, and Loeb just won his 6th consecutive WRC title. FYI.

Slaughter

Antonia Bernath, Lucy Holt (2009) Faith moves into a farm to escape from abuse and discovers that the farm owner is killing men.

Another of those After Dark Horrorfest movies.

I'm relatively certain that the description of the movie is lying to me. I'm pretty sure that the true "horror" part of this is when you realize that you just watched this crappy movie. If that is the case, the movie will get full marks. If it just turns into another horror movie, its going to be hard pressed to get any points.

So far its been 2 young women living on a farm or something. And doing nothing interesting. Except for sucking somewhat fierce with a shotgun. Even though she can't hit the broad side of anything, she does seem to get an incredible amount of shots out of a double barreled shotgun. Although that shotgun has external hammers, which makes it instantly awesomer than any shotgun with internal hammers.

And the director of this movie seems to have decided that dark = creepy. I probably mentioned this before, but dark = dark. And nothing else. You can't be creeped out by what you can't see. Especially if he's relying on you to be able to see it to be creeped out by it. Jaws, on the other hand, was designed to be creepy without being seen. That worked. This isn't working.

But, sadly, this movie gets no points. So, the last 2 movies have to get full points each to allow the After Dark Horrorfest to achieve a .500 average...

Perkins' 14

Richard Brake, Patrick O'Kane (2009) Robert builds an army of 14 brainwashed people to protect him from killers.

Serves you right, random guy. Got your hand chopped by some apparently brainwashed guy. Serves you right for having really really stupid hair.

And apparently brainwashing makes you immune to bullets. FYI.

And apparently cheap shitty hotels have champagne bucket-things instead of ice-buckets.

Looks like After Dark Horrorfest is failing in its quest to get back to .500. Now, instead it'll be 1 for 4.

One hour and 17 minutes in, and the main character's wife has taken off her shirt. In preparation for committing adultery. Finally decided to bring back the "Female Undergarment Countdown". Not really a countdown, but whatever...

But luckily for... well, no one, another of the brainwashed folks showed up and clubbed the adulterous man with the champagne bottle.

Also, the editor of this movie really needs to learn the term "continuity". As in ensure that the scenes you're showing are in fact in the correct order. Like hugging, then getting dressed, then back to hugging in a split second.

So, there's clearly a person yelling off in the distance. Deputy Awesome states, "That sounds like a person." No shit, there genius. (This rather blatant stating of the blindingly obvious is what gave the Deputy his name, by the way)

Ah. What a heartwarming story of a father who reaches out to his zombified brainwashed son, and then gets his neck snapped by said son. Who then goes on to kill his sister with a shotgun.

Perhaps, I shall give this film half marks due to the rather abrupt snapping of the father's neck, even though everyone (except him) saw it coming. So, After Dark Horrorfest 3 or whatever is now 1.5 for 4. I've still got 3 more to go on the DVR, so it is still possible that the Horrorfest will make it up to .500, and actually even has the chance to go above... We shall see. I'm rather doubtful, but, we shall see.

Goldeneye

Has anyone realized that the ladder on the antenna in the final fight scene between Sean Bean and 007 is completely ridiculous? It serves positively no purpose. In that it doesn't actually reach the platform, and just kinda stops in mid-air.

Stargate Universe

Seriously. Stop with the sex scenes. It doesn't add a thing. And it doesn't make the show "edgier" or whatever you're trying to get. And this Scott character seems to be boning everything with a pulse. Although, he seems to be sticking to those with the female persuasion. Perhaps once he runs out of those...

Still a good show, though.

And I must say that I prefer the design of Destiny's shuttle much more than the Puddle Jumpers from SG1 and Atlantis.

Eliza Dushku

She has nice eyes but weird boobs. FYI.

Saw III

Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith (2006) A kidnapped doctor must keep dying Jigsaw alive while a fellow victim completes his own maniacal test.

Syfy Saturday movie from 10/17.

When I get old, I hope to be somewhere near as creepy as Tobin Bell.

FYI

Ice skating bear kills Russian circus staffer

The Broken

Lena Headey, Richard Jenkins (2008) Gina follows someone impersonating her and discovers her friends and family are involved.

Another one of those After Dark Horrorfest movies. This time, starring that woman from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Stay tuned for a later review, for the After Dark Horrorfest movie with that kid from Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Looks like this movie takes place in London. Hopefully that should mean that there are some sort of accents going on. We shall see.

I must say, I'm kind of looking forward to next year's After Dark Horrorfest showing up on Syfy next year. There's apparently going to be a movie called "ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction". Should be... terrible? ridiculous? awesome? Only time will tell.

This director seems to really like long, poorly lit establishing shots of London. He's done it a few times already, and we're only a few minutes into the movie.

Apparently Sarah Connor's doppelganger has come through the mirror. Or at least it seems that the director, in addition to those establishing shots, really has a thing for mirrors, and the breaking thereof.

And apparently French people drool a lot during boning. A lot. Or maybe its just this guy. But still. A lot.

Also, tip for life: If a mirror randomly breaks near you, you now have a doppelganger. Which will try to kill you in the shower by punching you in the mouth. Literall. In. The mouth. And potentially perform a frontal brain stem-ectomy. FYI.

And the "Plot Summary" on Wikipedia doesn't really summarize the plot. It actually raises questions as to what actually went on. Dammit Wikipedia, you're supposed to tell methings, not ask me questions about them. Jerk-face.

Police Protocol

So, I was just watching an episode of CSI: Miami. And Horatio Caine asked a group of guys "Which one of you is XXXX". I can't remember the name, so we'll just stick with XXXX. And as soon as he said that, XXXX started running. Wouldn't the more prudent course of action be to just say, "Nope. Not me!" and let the cops leave?

Also, there's a black guy on CSI: Miami now?

Heated Grips

And on the 8th day, God created heated grips for motorcycles. And it was awesome.

2009 Australian Motorcycle Grand Prix

Valentino Rossi makes it seem so effortless. While going stupendously quick. I am thoroughly impressed.

A win by Australian Casey Stoner on the Ducati in his home grand prix. Seems to be a good weekend for Australia, with Mark Webber winning in Brazil a few hours ago.

Valentino Rossi in 2nd. Rossi's closest title rival, and also his teammate, Jorge Lorenzo crashed out, after running into Nicky Hayden on the first corner of the first lap. Oh, sorry. Yor-geh. I guess he was pooooshing too hard.

And everyone's favorite Frenchman, Randy de Puniet in 8th.

Quite good race at the front between Rossi and Stoner. Great ride by Stoner.

And with Yor-geh's crash today, and Rossi's second place, it means that Rossi now leads Lorenzo in the world championship by 38 points, with 2 races remaining. Now if MotoGP used a similar scoring system to Formula 1, this would be an unassailable lead, and Rossi would already have cliched the championship. But, instead of gaining 10 points for a win, as in Formula 1, the winner of a MotoGP race gets 25 points. So, basically, Yor-geh is playing the role of Vettel in this series. And look how that turned out. Rossi needs to score 13 points total in the next two races. So, that's one 4th place finish, or one 10th and one 9th. And considering, he's only finished off the podium 4 times this season, it seems rather likely that he'll be world champion again. This year, he's finished on the podium 11 times thus far, once in 4th, once in 5th, once in 16th, and he's crashed out once. Oh, and I should probably mention that Rossi's already won 6 MotoGP championships. Athough, lets hope I'm not jinxing it...

And during the podium interview/speech/thing, while Stoner was talking, Rossi stuck his head into the shot, grinned, and waved to the camera... And that's one of the reasons why I'm a Rossi fan. He's just got his head screwed on straight, and just tries to have fun. And I really can't complain about someone randomly inserting themselves in to pictures where they don't belong, while grinning like an idiot?

Valentino Rossi Speech Checklist:
Well, shit. He didn't say any of the 3 catch-phrases. He did mention Yor-geh's crash, but either he horribly mispronounced his teammates name, or referred to him by some very strange nickname that I really didn't understand.
Today he seemed to be "attacking" rather than "poooshing".

2009 Brazilian Grand Prix

Apparently Vettel's poor qualifying showing was in part due his car being in a dry-weather set up. Hopefully that means that although he was poor in qualifying and will do better during the race today, as it seems it will be in the dry. Ideally a lot of folks in front of Vettel are on wet-weather set-ups, which should make them slower relative to Vettel's Red Bull.

And Button's father's wearing the pink shirt again. I guess he wears the pink shirt on race-day, but not necessarily on Saturdays for qualifying.

Quite the eventful first lap. A lot of cars got taken out. Still unsure whether Vettel emerged completely unscathed. Looks like he almost got hit by Kovalainen, but right now it seems that they didn't make contact. I'll keep you updated. Vettel's currently running in 11th, and Button's in 9th. Barrichello's still 1st.

And Kovalainen drove out of his pit box with the fuel hose still attached. He ended up spraying fuel all down the pit lane. And then Raikonnen ended up driving through it, and causing a pretty impressive fireball. I guess thank goodness for all the safety gear those guys are driving. Still, its gotta be pretty terrifying...

And really nice passes by Kubica and Button on the restart from the safety car. And then another really nice pass by Button on Nakajima. Button is freaking flying. Seems he's finally gotten his head out of his own posterior, and showing the form from the beginning of the season when he was absolutely flying. If Button clinches the championship due to this race, I'd be a lot happier than if he did it based on his performance in the last few races.

Now Vettel needs to get around Nakajima, and then Button. And then the rest of the field. So, get on that...

And now Heidfeld seems to have just run out of fuel due to a screwed up pit stop. Some bad luck for Heidfeld lately. You might remember from Singapore how Sutil ramming Heidfeld ended Heidfeld's 41 or so consecutive Grand Prix string of finishing every race. And now he's retired from 2 of the last 3 races.

And some sweet racing and passing and stuff between Championship-leader Button and Toyota driver Kamui Kobayashi (or whoever you spell that), who is racing in his first Grand Prix. In fact, this is quite possibly one of the best F1 races I've seen in a while, in terms of racing and overtaking.

Looks to be a pretty good race for Mark Webber today, though. Not that it matters in terms of the championship.

And now Nakajima crashes heavily to be the 6th car to retire from the race. This is getting sort of ridiculous.

And another nice pass by Button.

And Vettel finally gets around Button on lap 57, after a very quick pitstop. Vettel's chances are pretty much nil at this point, but getting ahead of Button seems to have helped give Barrichello a chance, although, as it runs right now, Button will still clinch the championship today. Although, Barrichello just had a puncture in his tire, which necessitated another stop. Looks like his goose is cooked as well.

So, looks like the championship is decided in the Brazilian Grand Prix for another year. Sadly, this year, its no longer the last race of the season. We'll see what happens in Abu Dhabi next week, even though nothing is on the line.

Another good win for Mark Webber, for the second of the season, and the second of his career.

Overall, a good race in terms of racing. Not so good a race for Vettel's championship. Mainly because its over.

And some rather hilarious singing of "We are the Champions" over the radio by newly crowned World Champion Jenson Button. The same Jenson Button who is damn near unintelligible over the radio. I'm quite impressed that is race engineer is able to communicate with him. All I really understand is just random honking. Which, I guess means that 2009 is the first season where the World Champion was part goose.

And sadly, it looks like none of the championships will be won by the prettiest car on the grid (the Red Bull RB5), and all will be won by the ugliest (the BrawnGP BGP001). Tis a shame.

2009 Brazilian Grand Prix Qualifying

Oh, dangit. Vettel really needs a win or a 2nd place in the race today (watching qualifying which happened yesterday) to keep his championship hopes alive. However, he qualified 16th, and will start 15th due to the grid penalty caused by Vinantonio Liuzzi's gearbox change. Heavy rain during qualifying didn't help the cause, and neither did other people incessantly spinning.

Championship leader Jenson Button will start 14th. He needs to get 3rd or better to clinch the championship in this race.

The other driver still alive in the championship, Rubens Barrichello, got pole in his home Grand Prix. Which is good for him, as his 2 title rivals are so far back. Although, if Vettel doesn't win the championship, I'm hoping for Barrichello to win it. I'm not a fan of Jenson Button.

But, I'm still holding out hope for Vettel.

And Jenson Button's father was wearing a white shirt. First time I've seen him wearing anything other than a pink shirt.

On the topic of Beauty

Is there a difference between "cute", "hot", and "pretty"? Just curious.

Stargate Universe

Not as fun and light-hearted as SG1 and Atlantis, but still seems to be pretty good.

Autopsy

Robert Patrick, Jessica Lowndes (2008) Survivors of a car crash encounter crazed staffers at a rural Louisiana hospital.

Syfy Sunday movie from 10/4.

I realize that I've got a bunch of stuff that I recorded before this, but I have randomly selected this one to watch while I finish eating my duck, and contemplate cleaning up my apartment. By which I mean finish eating my duck, and then probably fiddle with airsoft stuff. And if you miss one of the letters by one key on the keyboard in my dinner, it could have some disastrous and comical side-effects.

And plus, this one apparently has the Terminator in it. Or, more accurately, T-1000. Or Col. Marshall Sumner. Or that guy from The Marine. Or that guy from that motocross movie, where he had a beard. Actually, I'm hoping for that guy, mainly due to his beard-ness.

Oh, and by the way, this is one of those After Dark Horrorfest movies, or whatever. Lets see if these movie improve, in comparison to the first (rather crappy) one I've seen thus far.

And now for the update: 16 minutes in, Robert Patrick finally showed up. No beard, but he did have some rather fantastic glasses. Stereotypical nerdy doctor glasses. Which makes sense, was he is playing the role of a doctor. Funny how that ends up working out.

Also, 45 minutes in, blurred-out zombie-dude-ass. Followed shortly by some character fleeing down the hallway and stops in front of some doctor-guy. Who promptly punches her in the face, and then drags her off down the hallway by one ankle, caveman-style. I laughed. I'll admit. I'm not ashamed.

And that wasn't even a segment that involved "violent content" and "parental discretion". Even though some zombie dude got his guts ripped out. I'm excited for this next one, as it had all the warnings that the previous segment lacked. And my excitingness has been disappointed. As all it was was one of the doctor dudes malleting a corpse with something. Potentially a mallet. In other news, "mallet" is fun to say.

And now a guy's belt-sanding some severed hands. Well, not actually belt sanding, as he's using one of those sanding things that must moves a big piece of sandpaper around a lot, and not actually a continuous belt. The guy did make some comments about fingerprints earlier, but I wasn't really paying attention. Thus far, this movie seems to be better than the other one. All in all, I'd call it a success thus far.

Not relying on any sort of ridiculous computer graphics, so the fight scenes look actually sort of "realistic". Well not realistic, but not completely stupid and far-fetched. Although, I still have to say that fighting CG monsters that are not actually there would probably be a pretty fun job.

Oh, I have to say I like Robert Patrick's style. Using a hand drill for brain surgery. Without anesthetizing the patient first. I really have no idea what your motivation is, but you are certainly rather bad-ass at doing it. Although, now that he's actually using it, he is discovering the down-sides of the hand-drill.

Also, the orderly guy who punched the other person in the face earlier, just stuck his finger in the person's brain-hole. I think I'm starting to like this guy, just due to his egregious random cruelty. Although he has been stabbed by two separate sharp implements within the past 5 minutes. And now just got his face horribly mangled by an oxygen tank. I'd say his goose is cooked. Similar to my dinner, but less tasty. Now the question is, would I have made that comment if I was still eating? Or is it only because I've now finished eating that I can equate my dinner with someones horribly, horribly mangled face...

You know how people hang mobiles and dangly stuff from babies' cribs? Because Dr. Terminator seems to be doing something similar. Only less fuzzy animals and stars and shit, and more hearts, intestine, and other innards. And not a baby's crib, but some guy's hospital bed.

First the old-school medical implements, and now the interior decoration with human innards... This guy's got some definite style.

Apparently this innards-mobile was connected to some old, dying woman. Perhaps Terminator's wife or something? And now that the mobile's been turned off, she seems to be doing rather poorly. Not that she was doing so well before. Think George Romero's zombies from his version of Day of the Dead. Only less green-colored make-up. And less being named "Bub".

And in completely other news that "Law Abiding Citizen" movie looks like it could be fun. Gerard Butler tele-blowing things up. Although he does seem to be clean-shaven, and is lacking the awesome beard that he was rocking in 300. Which reminds me, I should probably watch that movie again, to see how I feel about it. I remember it being pretty good, with some pretty quality music. But nowhere near as good as the internet has hyped it up to be with all those ridiculous memes.

And now Bub-ess just got her face meat cleavered. And main character woman is now stabbing Dr. Terminator in the face with a scalpel. Methinks those are more of slicing implements, and serve that purpose much better than stabbing. But hey, what do I know. I'm just awesome.

And apparently, less than one year of medical school gives you the skill necessary to stitch your face together with no anesthetic and only a needle, thread, and a mirror. All the while having you back turned on the not-quite-as-dead-as-you-thought Dr. Terminator. I knew you should have gone for the molten iron approach, rather than the scalpel stabbing. But, I guess it serves you right for all the annoying screaming that you were doing while you were doing the face-stabbing.

Eh. Not bad. I mean that not in the "Not bad, so therefore it was good" connotation, but instead the "Actually, this wasn't terrible. Not good, but not terrible either" connotation. So, I guess since its Saturday, and I'm feeling charitable, I'll bump After Dark Horrorfest's record from 0-1 to 1-1. Way to go!

Doo too da doo doo

Mahna Mahna.

Also, this whole song becomes infinitely funnier when you realize that it originally came from a porn movie.

V

I want a giant spaceship that can be used to project my face in a very giant fashion, similar to the one that projects Inara's face in the commercial.

Think of all the the comedy that could provide.

Sakoontra Duck! Part 2

I am going to poop so furiously. It will be glorious.

Will there be a "Sakoontra Duck! Part 3" post? Am I that classy? Stay tuned.

Vibram FiveFingers

Day 1: These things is weird. Its like being barefoot... but wearing shoes... Tis very strange.

One thing I have learned, though: These are not cold-weather shoes. But then again, I probably would have worn sandals anyways...

I'll keep you up to date. Assuming, of course, that I feel like it.

Sakoontra Duck!

Eatin' me some duck... mmmm. Food.

Point Break

Gary Busey is insane. Just thought you might want to know.

And I'm not sure I understand the allure of surfing.

And Keanu Reeves cannot act for a damn.

Oh, and Patrick Swayze is dead. FYI.

Some cop just rocked the flipping the jack-in-the-box bird. Good to know that particular gesture was popular around... oh, say... (excuse me while I check Wikipedia)... 1991.

I imagine this would be a lot more interesting if I was more in tune with surfer culture. Although I imagine this is how normal people see climbers.

Keanu: "I can't describe what I'm feeling."
That would be because you're a terrible actor, Keanu. Tewwible with a capital tewwible. And you just got you ass beat by a nekkid chick.

Also! Dr. Cox as Keanu and Busey's boss!

And Ronald Reagan just threw a pit bull at Keanu.

I'm wondering how he's going to explain the whole shooting at the sky thing. Since its 1991, the Soviet Union still exists. Perhaps he was trying to shoot down Soviet satellites.

Also, Patrick Swayze has awesome hair. And Busey's really freaking good at hitting people in the center of mass. And the forehead at other times. Behind hostages.

Swayze: "I know you want me so bad, its like ass in your mouth." I may have misheard, but whatever he actually said, I think its funnier my way. IMDB thinks its "acid". I'll stick with my way.

Also, this is awesome: Point Break Live!

Gotta poop.

Yup. I gotta poop. Bad.

Children of the Corn

Kandyse McClure, David Anders (2009) A couple encounters murderous children in a rural community. Based on a story by Stephen King.

Remake of the movie that I watched a long time ago. Seem to be more faithful to the original story.

Interesting blending of the guy's hallucinations from Vietnam with the events of the story.

Apparently the main characters are Adam Monroe from Heroes, and Dualla from Battlestar Galactica.

And little kids with giant hats are predictably creepy. Creepy as shit.

Isle of Man TT

A famous motorcycle race, for those of you that didn't know.

There's apparently a rider whose last name is McGuinness. He has his name on his riding leathers. It reads "Mc (picture of a pint of Guinness)". I'm amused.

And another bonus, in that its in England (or actually off the coast or whatever), everyone has a fantastic accent.

Clive Barker's Book of Blood

Jonas Armstrong, Sophie Ward (2008) A house stands at the intersection of supernatural highways that transport souls to the afterlife.

Syfy Sunday movie from 9/20.

Yup. Wasn't even paying attention. Built an airsoft gun instead.

Open Graves

Eliza Dushku, Mike Vogel (2009) American students in Spain start to die when they play a board game.

Syfy Saturday movie from 9/19.

Taking the day off today, so I figure I should get some of these movies off the DVR while I do other stuff, and free up some space for some other complete and utter crap.

Photographer: "Give me a smile"
On screen at the current time: The model's ass.
Uhhh...

And the guy's wish when he "wins" the game is completely ridiculous. Wishes that it was before he'd played the game. And he doesn't bother caveating his wish with the fact that he never wants to see the game again. From the moment that he made his wish, it was perfectly obvious that he was just gonna relive the first few scenes of the movie in the end.

Merlin and the War of the Dragons

Jurgen Prochnow, Simon Lloyd Roberts (2008) Merlin must use his wizardry to stop a band of fire-breathing dragons from destroying England.

Syfy Saturday movie from 9/5.

Another The Asylum production. I'm excited. Oh, wait, no I'm not. But its got Jurgen Prochnow in it. Also known as the German version of "That Guy". Him along with Thomas Kretschmann. But he's not in this movie...

I imagine that at some point during the filming of this, Prochnow was wondering "has my career really come to this?"

I'm beginning to wonder why I even watch these The Asylum movies. They're pure unadulterated crap.

Apparently some dude and Merlin were teachers of Jurgen Prochnow. But "some dude" kinda sucked, and was all angry and stuff, so he left and set dragons loose. And then killed Prochnow. So, I guess Merlin's gotta kick his ass or whatever...

And then everyone started to talk like a pirate. Not the awesome kind of pirate. Just a ridiculous sounding idiot.

And for some reason, they seem averse to color. Its not black and white, but its pretty darn close. I guess the lack of color makes it seem more Medieval or whatever...

And apparently evil wizard guy ("some dude") has soap bubbles of DOOM! And then got electro-zorted by Excalibur. For some reason. And then Uther Pendragon randomly screamed at the sky, and dragons fell from it. And then turned into peasants. Spectacularly ugly peasants, but peasants nonetheless.

Dead Like Me: Life After Death

Ellen Muth, Callum Blue (2009) A team of Grim Reapers begins to break the rules while adjusting to a new boss. Based on the television series.

I've never seen the show that this is based on, and that's probably hurting my enjoyment of this movie, as I'm constantly on Wikipedia trying to figure out what exactly is going on.

And the main character bothers me.

Oh yeah, Syfy Sunday movie from 8/23.

Dying Breed

Mirrah Foulkes, Leigh Whannell (2008) Nina leads an expedition into the New Zealand bush to find tigers and meets a c annibalistic family.

The typo isn't mine. Its in the description from the DVR.

Got a bunch of random shit on the DVR, including a bunch of Syfy Saturday and Sunday movies. That and a bunch of stuff from the third After Dark Horrorfest. I'm not sure if I referenced it when I reviewed them, but a bunch of movies from around this time last year were from the 2nd After Dark Horrorfest. A lot of them were crap, except for that "Mulberry Street" one or whatever it was called. That was really the only decent one among the lot.

And it seems that in addition to the egregious space in the description, its also wrong. The intro talks about prisoners in Tasmania, not New Zealand. And it also discusses some sort of prisoner who managed to survive by cannibalism. Named "The Pieman". At one point I hope to become nicknamed the Pieman. That would be pretty slick. Probably not the cannibalism , though.

The main characters are apparently looking for the seemingly extinct Tasmanian Tiger. I guess they couldn't deal with the tornado creating Tasmanian Devil. Or perhaps you don't need to look too much further than the Looney Tunes to find one.

And now there's some cannibalism going on. And a lot of me not caring.

Even the fact that everyone has accents isn't even helping on this one. So far, the 3rd After Dark Horror fest seems to be 0 for 1.

Although I did get to do a certainly large amount of ignoring done while this movie was playing. So, that's a bonus, I guess...

Whoops.

I had a feeling that the word "premier" looked a bit funny. Turns out that "premier" is a word for the head of a country's government. The word I was looking for was "premiere".

FYI.

Stargate Universe Premier

Good first scene. They did a rather good job of keeping things confusing, so you, like the characters, didn't really know what was going on. Although, a very interesting choice for the premier. Rather than having a bunch of scenes establishing who everyone is, you just kind of jump right in, and figure it out through flashbacks.

My only problem with the episode is the random sex scene at the beginning. I've always seen Stargate as a rather family-friendly show, for lack of a better term. The sex scene between Whatsisname and Whosherface served little to no purpose, and just seem to be a very juvenile way of basically saying "Hey look! We can talk about adult themes! We're edgy!" We'll see how the season progresses.

I'll keep you updated on the latest branch of the Stargate franchise, and if it lives up to its older siblings. Hard to judge that from just the first episode, though.

Visually, a fantastic episode. The Goa'uld motherships and the battle over Icarus Base were quite good Computer Graphics. Not as magestic, and awe-inspiring (for lack of a better term) than the scene from Stargate Atlantis' premier when Atlantis surfaced. Actually, the CG was probably a bit better in this one, but it was used on Motherships and Gliders, which we've all seen before. Basically, what I'm saying is that I think I liked Stargate Atlantis' Rising better as a premier. But so far, we've only seen the first 2/3rds of the premier episode of Universe, so perhaps they'll wow me with the last hour.

(Interesting similarities between Universe and Atlantis. I find it interesting that they got to their first planet in Atlantis within the first hour, but in Universe, at the end of the 2nd hour, they've just stepped through the gate)

So, this episode didn't turn me off of the series, so I'll keep watching, and keep you updated. I'm hopeful that I like the series as much as I enjoy the rest of the franchise.

Shut up

Can't talk now. Watching Stargate Universe.

2009 Japanese Grand Prix

Lots of crashes in practice and qualifying. Blog-favorite Vettel on pole. Both other championship contenders got 5-grid spot penalties due to not slowing down for yellow flags during qualifying. Barichello ended up in 6th, and Button in 10th. Red Bull's Mark Webber crashed heavily during practice, and did not take part in qualifying, so he'll be starting from pit lane.

Apparently there have been 5 crashes and 7 penalties even before the race has started. This could be interesting. I'm hoping that there will be at least 1 more crash. As the 2 Brawn cars run into each other.

For the championship, Vettel needs to outscore Button by 6 points or something to stay alive in the championship. Button needs to score 5 points over Barichello to clinch the championship. Or something like that.

And Jenson Button's father seems to only own pink button-up shirts. Every time he shows up on TV, he's wearing a pink button-up shirt...

Great start for Vettel, and he's already built up a pretty sizable lead over 2nd just from the first lap. 1.1 seconds. Sweet crap. Vettel is fast. Lets hope he keeps it up. Although its probably apparent from the fact that he's still in championship contention, even though he's retired from 5 races thus far in the season. Button and Barichello have each retired from one race.

And Adrian Sutil just spun his car for no apparent reason, and ended up letting Button by. Now Button's in 8th, and is in a points scoring position. You might remember Adrian Sutil as the one who crashed into the bearded German Nick Heidfeld in the last race in Singapore. Jerkface.

Vettel's still in first after his final pit stop. I think he's led the entire race thus far. Button's just made his final stop, and he's currently in 10th or so. Not sure if anyone in front of him still needs to pit. Barichello just pitted and came out just in front of Button.

Algersuari just crashed with 8 laps to go, which brings out the safety car. Hopefully this doesn't screw with Vettel's chances, as it negates the rather large lead he had over 2nd place Trulli. Barichello in 7th (2 points), Button in 8th (for 1 point). Vettel still leading (10 points). Although, I'm quite surprised that this crash with 8 laps to go was the first major incident of the race. Aside from Sutil's spin, which didn't really do any damage to anything.

And an engineer for the Red Bull team just popped open a Red Bull. Apt.

And Vettel takes off again on the restart with 4 laps to go.

And Webber takes fastest-lap on the penultimate lap. All the way down in 17th and last place.

And Vettel remains alive in the championship with the victory. And Red Bull remains alive in the Constructors championship by a total of one point. Seems rather unlikely for them right now... But we can always hold out hope.

XKCD

I chuckled.

Food is Awesome.

Just thought you should know...

I just inhaled a Five Guys burger and a bunch of fries. It was fantastic.

New Stargate tonight

Premier of Stargate Universe tonight. But I didn't watch it, as I went to see Zombieland instead. I'll review it when I get around to it.