Monday, October 12, 2009

Merlin and the War of the Dragons

Jurgen Prochnow, Simon Lloyd Roberts (2008) Merlin must use his wizardry to stop a band of fire-breathing dragons from destroying England.

Syfy Saturday movie from 9/5.

Another The Asylum production. I'm excited. Oh, wait, no I'm not. But its got Jurgen Prochnow in it. Also known as the German version of "That Guy". Him along with Thomas Kretschmann. But he's not in this movie...

I imagine that at some point during the filming of this, Prochnow was wondering "has my career really come to this?"

I'm beginning to wonder why I even watch these The Asylum movies. They're pure unadulterated crap.

Apparently some dude and Merlin were teachers of Jurgen Prochnow. But "some dude" kinda sucked, and was all angry and stuff, so he left and set dragons loose. And then killed Prochnow. So, I guess Merlin's gotta kick his ass or whatever...

And then everyone started to talk like a pirate. Not the awesome kind of pirate. Just a ridiculous sounding idiot.

And for some reason, they seem averse to color. Its not black and white, but its pretty darn close. I guess the lack of color makes it seem more Medieval or whatever...

And apparently evil wizard guy ("some dude") has soap bubbles of DOOM! And then got electro-zorted by Excalibur. For some reason. And then Uther Pendragon randomly screamed at the sky, and dragons fell from it. And then turned into peasants. Spectacularly ugly peasants, but peasants nonetheless.

3 comments:

Su said...

Why do you watch that crap?

Dan said...

I feel compelled to watch the Syfy Saturday stuff. That's really sort of the staple of my blog. It's just all shit.

Su said...

There is something wrong with that logic. I'm just not sure what.