Autopsy

Robert Patrick, Jessica Lowndes (2008) Survivors of a car crash encounter crazed staffers at a rural Louisiana hospital.

Syfy Sunday movie from 10/4.

I realize that I've got a bunch of stuff that I recorded before this, but I have randomly selected this one to watch while I finish eating my duck, and contemplate cleaning up my apartment. By which I mean finish eating my duck, and then probably fiddle with airsoft stuff. And if you miss one of the letters by one key on the keyboard in my dinner, it could have some disastrous and comical side-effects.

And plus, this one apparently has the Terminator in it. Or, more accurately, T-1000. Or Col. Marshall Sumner. Or that guy from The Marine. Or that guy from that motocross movie, where he had a beard. Actually, I'm hoping for that guy, mainly due to his beard-ness.

Oh, and by the way, this is one of those After Dark Horrorfest movies, or whatever. Lets see if these movie improve, in comparison to the first (rather crappy) one I've seen thus far.

And now for the update: 16 minutes in, Robert Patrick finally showed up. No beard, but he did have some rather fantastic glasses. Stereotypical nerdy doctor glasses. Which makes sense, was he is playing the role of a doctor. Funny how that ends up working out.

Also, 45 minutes in, blurred-out zombie-dude-ass. Followed shortly by some character fleeing down the hallway and stops in front of some doctor-guy. Who promptly punches her in the face, and then drags her off down the hallway by one ankle, caveman-style. I laughed. I'll admit. I'm not ashamed.

And that wasn't even a segment that involved "violent content" and "parental discretion". Even though some zombie dude got his guts ripped out. I'm excited for this next one, as it had all the warnings that the previous segment lacked. And my excitingness has been disappointed. As all it was was one of the doctor dudes malleting a corpse with something. Potentially a mallet. In other news, "mallet" is fun to say.

And now a guy's belt-sanding some severed hands. Well, not actually belt sanding, as he's using one of those sanding things that must moves a big piece of sandpaper around a lot, and not actually a continuous belt. The guy did make some comments about fingerprints earlier, but I wasn't really paying attention. Thus far, this movie seems to be better than the other one. All in all, I'd call it a success thus far.

Not relying on any sort of ridiculous computer graphics, so the fight scenes look actually sort of "realistic". Well not realistic, but not completely stupid and far-fetched. Although, I still have to say that fighting CG monsters that are not actually there would probably be a pretty fun job.

Oh, I have to say I like Robert Patrick's style. Using a hand drill for brain surgery. Without anesthetizing the patient first. I really have no idea what your motivation is, but you are certainly rather bad-ass at doing it. Although, now that he's actually using it, he is discovering the down-sides of the hand-drill.

Also, the orderly guy who punched the other person in the face earlier, just stuck his finger in the person's brain-hole. I think I'm starting to like this guy, just due to his egregious random cruelty. Although he has been stabbed by two separate sharp implements within the past 5 minutes. And now just got his face horribly mangled by an oxygen tank. I'd say his goose is cooked. Similar to my dinner, but less tasty. Now the question is, would I have made that comment if I was still eating? Or is it only because I've now finished eating that I can equate my dinner with someones horribly, horribly mangled face...

You know how people hang mobiles and dangly stuff from babies' cribs? Because Dr. Terminator seems to be doing something similar. Only less fuzzy animals and stars and shit, and more hearts, intestine, and other innards. And not a baby's crib, but some guy's hospital bed.

First the old-school medical implements, and now the interior decoration with human innards... This guy's got some definite style.

Apparently this innards-mobile was connected to some old, dying woman. Perhaps Terminator's wife or something? And now that the mobile's been turned off, she seems to be doing rather poorly. Not that she was doing so well before. Think George Romero's zombies from his version of Day of the Dead. Only less green-colored make-up. And less being named "Bub".

And in completely other news that "Law Abiding Citizen" movie looks like it could be fun. Gerard Butler tele-blowing things up. Although he does seem to be clean-shaven, and is lacking the awesome beard that he was rocking in 300. Which reminds me, I should probably watch that movie again, to see how I feel about it. I remember it being pretty good, with some pretty quality music. But nowhere near as good as the internet has hyped it up to be with all those ridiculous memes.

And now Bub-ess just got her face meat cleavered. And main character woman is now stabbing Dr. Terminator in the face with a scalpel. Methinks those are more of slicing implements, and serve that purpose much better than stabbing. But hey, what do I know. I'm just awesome.

And apparently, less than one year of medical school gives you the skill necessary to stitch your face together with no anesthetic and only a needle, thread, and a mirror. All the while having you back turned on the not-quite-as-dead-as-you-thought Dr. Terminator. I knew you should have gone for the molten iron approach, rather than the scalpel stabbing. But, I guess it serves you right for all the annoying screaming that you were doing while you were doing the face-stabbing.

Eh. Not bad. I mean that not in the "Not bad, so therefore it was good" connotation, but instead the "Actually, this wasn't terrible. Not good, but not terrible either" connotation. So, I guess since its Saturday, and I'm feeling charitable, I'll bump After Dark Horrorfest's record from 0-1 to 1-1. Way to go!