Friday, November 28, 2008

I'm Holding My Blog Hostage

I'm holding my blog hostage until someone explains the fish-people nature of the Flying Dutchman's crew under Davey Jones' rule, but not Turner's.

Rocky III

Clubber Lang is one shiny, shiny man. For that matter, so is Rocky...

Pirates Of the Caribbean: At Worlds End

I'm not really sure why the crew of the Flying Dutchman were Fish-people under Davey Jones' rule, but not under Capt Turner's... I guess they were fed up with spending all that money on makeup and CG stuff.

Probably the most interesting scene for me was the scene near the end where the Endeavour just sailed between the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman and is in the process of blowing up. Anyways, the Governor Guy/Main Baddie is stunned by the appearance of the Dutchman under Turner's command, and is basically speechless. Then the Endeavour starts to blow up, and he serenely walks from the wheel to the main deck, down a set of stairs as the ship disintigrates around him. Hardly any sound, aside from the music. Very interesting scene.

Day Of The Dead

The new one. Just came out this year, or last year.

If you're expecting any sort of reasonable resemblance to the original, you'll be sorely mistaken. Pretty much the only similarities are the fact that Zombies are involved (well, sorta zombies. Not really the same as the classic Romero-style zombie), there're guns, and there's a military base involved.

And Ving Rhames is in it. Just like in the Dawn of the Dead remake. Playing a completely different character. I suppose that is sort of a given, since the two movies were made by completely different people.

The zombies were apparently the result of some sort of bio-weapons research or something. And they didn't really die before becoming a zombie. Just kind of got infected, got slowly bleeding-er, and then went sorta comatose. After a bit of that, their skin decomposed rather quickly, and they started to look rather zombie-esque. More of the running type of zombie, and less of the standard shambling type.

The point about the guns should be pretty self-explanatory.

And instead of having the entire story happen in and around a military base, like the original, the missile base showed up as the place they run to for shelter, and coincidentally happens to be the source of the plague, too. So there was none of that social commentary that the original had, such as the whole military vs. scientists thing...

Anyways, in terms of Romero Remakes, Dawn of the Dead is worth it. Day of the Dead, not so much.

Ratattoiue or Whatever

Rat-a-too-ee. However the hell you spell that. That Pixar movie about the rat/chef thing.

Quite a good movie. Which is a given, since its Pixar. I thoroughly enjoyed watching it.

And as an added bonus, you can watch NetFlix (NetFlicks?) stuff on the XBox 360. So you don't have to wait for DVDs. Works surprisingly well.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving

You should eat some pie.

Quigley Down Under

Tom Selleck as a sharpshooter hired to shoot Aborigines in Australia, but ends up shooting Alan Rickman.

As always, he's got some fantastic facial hair. And that's enough to make watching the movie worthwhile.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Intriguing Blogger Thingy

Apparently when I start writing something, and save it for later, and then get back to it later and post it, it uses the original time as a basis for where it puts it in the list of posts. So, there's a new one below the Shield.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Shield (one final time)

Season finale was tonight.

Honestly I'm surprised that Vic survived.

Although I would have ended it one scene sooner. I would have ended it with the close up of Vic's face as he realizes the implications of his actions.

I was quite impressed by how much Michael Chiklis was able to convey without actually saying anything.

Lost City Raiders

James Brolin, Ian Somerhalder (2008) In the wake of natural disasters, two men scour the Earth for treasures.

Sci Fi Saturday movie from 11/22.

Basically Global Warming happened. And sunk 90% of the ground underwater. Manages to sink Paris, but it seems a good portion of Rio is still above water. I'm almost curious enough to see what Paris' elevation is, but not quite enough to actually look for it.

And New Rome seems to be regular Rome, but with some bonus water. And New Vatican bears a striking resemblance to regular Vatican. They seem to really suck at naming things. I'm wondering why they bother to call them "New" when they're at the same place as the old version.

"On the eastern side of the building, there's a circular wall-break". I'm pretty sure those are called windows. Or maybe "New" windows.

And apparently the Templars stole the Scepter. For some reason. I'm not really sure what the scepter is, but apparently the Vatican's looking for it.

And now everyone seems to have some sort of accent. I'm kind of enjoying it. Except for the fact that I have little to no idea who anyone is, aside from the 3 main characters. But what I don't particularly enjoy is the fact that no one can act worth a damn.

And now the old dude just randomly set off a concussion grenade. Which seems to have incapacitated the bad guys, and killed himself. Or at least skooshed him under some big ass rock. And blond evil guy seems to enjoy gangsta shooting. What with the sideways Glock and all. And he just got knocked off his jet-ski thing, and made the weirdest squeal type noise. Twas glorious.

Apparently the scepter is supposed to be Moses' scepter, which will enable them to stop the rising seas. Apparently Captain Evil wants to use it to sink almost all of the world, rent all the rich people condos on the remaining land, while buying all the underwater land, and then lowering sea levels again once he owns everything.

But I really don't see how he intends to do any of this, as his boat is now sinking after being rammed by the good guys' boat. Somehow it sunk after all the damage was done above the water line. That's the kind of shoddy workmanship that probably caused this disaster in the first place.

And now that the good guys have the staff, it shows them where Cosmic Energy Convergence Points. Whatever the hell those might be. And the actress definitely forgot her lines. She was discussing plate tectonics, and halfway though the work tectonics, she stopped, glanced at the scepter, which is likely hiding her lines, and then started again once she figured out what she was supposed to say. I'm kind of amused that the director left that in. Even if what I interpreted isn't the case, it still makes the actress and the director look quite bad, as that's what it seems to be.

And apparently gravity as normal does not apply to these Cosmic Energy Whatchamahoosits... There's some rather comical fighting going on right next to this giant pit. Most of which looks like, if normal physics applied, they'd have fallen in the hole about 6000 times already.

Apparently the trick to solve global flooding is to blow a giant hole in the earth's crust, and drain the water back into the center of the earth. Science!

Monday, November 24, 2008

JFK

Sort of suffering from Kevin Costner over-dose right now. Which might be explained when I get around to downloading the pictures off my camera (not that I have pictures of him on my camera, just that I have pictures from yet another movie he's in)

Anyways, this was really long. That's pretty much all I've got to say about it. Except for the music that was being played during the scene where JFK got shot. It seemed to be part recreation of the event, and part the original Zapruder film. But there was some rather good music during that scene. Fit the mood they were trying to portray quite well.

And as an added bonus you can see Joe Pesci with a really bad toupe.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

The Postman

The movie's not really worth watching. I'd like to read the book to see if its worth anything.

X-Files: I Want to Believe

Maybe a better sub-title would be "I want to care".

Maybe it was the fact that I was watching the movie on the flight back from Hawaii to DC, where it is colder and significantly less vacationey, the fact that the people in front of me reclined their seats before take-off, the fact that Billy Connolly was a psychic priest/pedophile instead of one man with 6 guns, or that I remember liking the X-files show more than I actually did, or the fact that I couldn't actually see what was going on on the screen due to the stupid angle of me being tall and cramped into a stupid airline seat and the fact that the seat in front of me was reclined, so the only way to actually see well was to look at my neighbor's screen, who thankfully was watching the movie, too. Anyways, I really couldn't bring myself to care all that much.

The high point of the movie was Callum Keith Rennie as one of the bad guys. Ever since his stint on Battlestar Galactica as Leoben Conoy, I've liked his work. He's got a strangely intense sort of demeanor.

Wall-E

I thought it was pretty good. Saw it on the plane going over to Hawaii.

It was Pixar, so of course it was good.

Thought it was interesting how a lot of the movie was done without much dialogue.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Boo

Apparently they get BBC America in Hawaii. I want BBC America.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Mortal Kombat: Something or Other

Apparently its Annihilation.

And its not about death. But about the preservation of life.I have to say, falling from the sky on fire seems like a pretty inefficient form of transportation. What with the burning and all.

I wonder if all the bad guys know how stupid they look. And I wonder if the good guys know how poorly they can act. OK. THe bad guys can't act either. but they can fly in a very ridiculous fashion.

And its looking like they're going to take a page from Beowulf's modes of transportation. with the flipping and all...

And I"m pretty sure Jean Claude Van Damn gone wrong just got penis-punched. And got his sunglasses broken. We know he's not the real Jean Claude, because if that had happened to him, he would have kicked everyone's ass. Rather than getting his neck broken.

And Main Bad Guy dude (who looks completely ridiculous by the way, as he has a gigantic skill thing on the top of his face, and his regular jaw below it) reminds me of Steve Holt from Arrested Development. What with the raised arms and random blathering...

And apparently Main Good Guy has magic hair. Able to be tied up and untied in consecutive scenes. And maybe even grow and shorten in length. But speaking of hair, Asian Dude has the most amazing 80s hair in the history of time.

"You'll be moving so fast, its like you're not even moving at all". The fuck does that even mean?

And apparently I'm learning from my Mortal Kombat history lesson that nut-punching is quite common in this universe. Note to self: Avoid Mortal Kombat universe.

Never mind. The falling from the sky isn't the dumbest transportation method ever. This sphere shit is. Something about standing inside a rolling sphere. I don't freaking understand. But as it places the 2 people face to face, it seems to allow perfect opportunity for the dude to check out the female character's boobs.

And Steve Holt has approximately 32000 too many teeth in his face... And apparently Steve Holt's father's move seems to be to use a Segway to move closer to thing. Come to think of it, its almost like GOB in Arrested Development.

And now we're introduced to a new characater: Poor Man's Predator.

And apparently those things aren't swords. They're fans. Which is kinda dum.

I need to grow my hair out again. Apparently 80s hair allows you to defy the laws of gravity.

And apparently if you spray paint Sub-zero yellow, he becomes Scorpion. I guess that saves the costume budget a bit. So you can get epople like Johnny Cash and that woman who's just wearing street clothes.

And now Scorpion is my favorite. He just totally called 80s Dude and Sub-Zero suckers, and jacked Fan Woman. And he's really the only Mortal Kombat character that I can ever remember. But then again, I only really played the game once or twice...

And now they've spraypainted Predator yellow. I guess they're making up for their lack of a costume budget by increasing they're really shitty effects budget.

And apparently if you accidentaly bash a keyboard, it totally sends sparks everywhere.

And I'm really tired.

And now for something completely different:

HIIIIII blog people reader thingies. And thus ends Favorite Commenter Su's contribution to the blog today.

And apparently if you want to find your "animality" (what ever the hell that might mean) the best way to do so is to get axed in the chest. Or maybe hatcheted. Or Tomohawk. Or forehead... And it seems that 80s Dude's animality is a snow angel. So freaking bad-ass right there. I'm sort of jealous.

And apparently 80s dude won the Mortal Kombat thing earlier. And yet he keeps getting his ass kicked. Apparently I had some sort of point that I was going to make when I started this paragraph, but now I've completely forgotten what it was.

And Main Bad Guy seems to enjoy comically oversized props. Ranging from Goblety things to hammers.

And I suppose that this movie is a pretty standard action movie, as the token black guy is essentially the sterotypical urban-type black guy. And he's in the military. And has silver plastic arms.

I've found the solution to drought. Chicks fighting. Apparently if 2 women start fighting in a previously dry area, it automatically turns to mud. I wonder if it changes back to dry when they're done. Its a deep burning question that this movie sadly does not answer. Perhaps in the next sequel. Assuming it ever gets around to being made. Perhaps they can sign me on as director. Or something. And it will probably be entirely about this burning question. And maybe some fightings. And definitely some fantastic hair. And probably some spray painting in mid scene to change costumes...

And the bad guys are riding horses. OK. So if this guy can get robotic limbs, I'm pretty sure that horses are a little out of date.

And if you spray pain Sub-Zero black, you get a random bad guy schlub. But they're awesome, as they locomote through flipping.

And the bad guy just stole the Eiffel Tower for no apparent reason.

"Up there". Probably the worst directions to tell your compatriot about an on-coming bad guy. I'm pretty sure it narrows the directions for an oncoming attack by about half. Only if you're flying. Other than that, kinda useless.

Abd then maybe some other stuff happened. I really have no idea because I fell asleep.

Guess What?

Hawaii, bitches.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Yeti

Peter DeLuise, Carly Pope (2008) A legendary beast terrorizes members of a college football team after their plane crashes in the snowy Himalayas.

Sci-Fi Saturday movie from November 8th. Anyone surprised that I'm doing it the very next day? That's almost a miracle. Its the last thing I've got left on the DVR before I leave for my trip to Hawaii.

So, to start off: I like Peter DeLuise. He was one of the directors for Stargate. And he did a bunch of Director Commentaries for the episodes. Usually with Gary Jones (MSgt Walter Harriman, Technician, Chevron Guy), and they were always good for a laugh. They weren't always the most informative of commentaries, but they were worth listening to, just in terms of the humor value.

And some guy who vaguely looked like Daniel Jackson was just et by the Yeti. And I htink his character's name may have been Jackson. There was definitely someone named Jackson, and definitely an actor who looked like Michael Shanks.

And now we're on a plane, that is inevitably oging to crash. I may be psychic, or I may have read the description...

Anyways, there's a football team on the plane. Lots of young adult angst and relationship crapulence. And a huge black guy who is apparently named "Chubs". I hope he survives. And there's some guy with a tiny little soul-patch thing under his chin... I think I'll call him DoucheBag. Apparently his father bought the new football stadium, but isn't good enough to start...

And they just exposited that apparently this team is going to be playing the first Bowl game in Japan. So they're flying over the Himalayas for some reason. Um. Geography? Anyone?

According to IMDB, this movie is actually called Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon. And Peter DeLuise's character is John Sheppard. I wonder if any of them have seen Stargate Atlantis... Or knowing Peter DeLuise, he'd think it was funny, and probably make a bevy of poo jokes. If this movie is anything like his Director Commentaries, he's going to use the term "poo cramps" at least once. I'll keep you posted.

They've just crashed. FYI. DAMMIT! Chubs seems to be dead. I''m really contemplating turning this movie off. I was really hoping for Chubs to survive. And IMDB is unhelpful as to whether Chubs is spelled with one B or 2. Looks like he wasn't important enough to be listed.

They're doing an awful lot of not shivering for being in the F'ing Himalayas. And the crash site looks an awful lot of stuff just got stuffed into the snow, and then the snow was trampled a bunch by people. Probably because that's one happened.

Holy Crap. Peter DeLuise has lost a shit-ton of weight... And for your info, he's the guy in charge of searching for the crashed survivors. Some sort of Himalayas Research Institute or something. I can't remember...

That was interesting. They just randomly transitioned betweened a CG Yeti and a guy in makeup during the course of one chase scene. Which ended with a guy getting torn apart by the Yeti, and DoucheBag ending up holding only on to the guy's arm. Which seemed to have some arterial spurting going on. From the arm. Dude has potentially the best circulatory system ever. Probably never was gonna have to worry about a heart attack, because his arm could take care of the blood circulation... But that doesn't matter, as he's now in multiple pieces, and probably even more assuming that the Yeti ate him, rather than just tearing him apart for sport. Which I would totally respect...

And why does the ASPCA have uniform that look like Police Uniforms? But that is neither here nor there.

And now some dude is climbing a wall. For some reason. Which they showed to be at about a 60 degreee angle. As in not overhanging. And yet when he started climbing, they made it look like it was vertical... Which he promptly fell off of and screwed up his leg. And then used the dude's ripped off arm as a splint. Turns out it was DoucheBag. This movie is fantastic thus far... And I think they just reused a shot of him climbing for his second attempt. Because he didn't have the arm strapped to his leg.

And they're doing a very poor job of portraying the passage of time. They just stated that they've been crashef for over 2 days. Yet the director has made no effort to visually portray that fact. And now they're discussing eating the dead people. Hopefully they don't start with the ass, like that one movie about the plane crash in the Andes where they ate the dead people's butts.

And now DoucheBag is sliding down a snow covered hillside. Dude seriously has to stop falling down shit. And pull his pants up... And the Yeti needs a dentist. Or Orthodontist...

And they just killed, cooked, and ate a bunny. First Chubs, now the bunny. Man, I really don't like these guys. I'm rooting for the Yeti.

And now they're eating people. Left it vague as to where the meat is from. But each piece is almost perfectly cubical...

And DoucheBag just got Flare-gunned in the face. Served him right... That travesty of facial hair...

How did throwing a snowball at a Yeti ever seem like a good idea. Seems like if you do that, he'll just rip your heart out. Or skoosh your head by stepping on it. Both of which he did... And now the Yeti is busy copping a feel. Apparently the only reason the Yeti is doing this is he just wanted to be loved... and have some cuddle time...

And the moral of the story: Don't shoot Yeti, or you'll set off an avalanche. Which you can apparently hide from beind a few tiny rocks...

And I just spent a little time trying to figure out if it was an airsoft magazine that the woman ejected from her gun. The results were inconclusive...

And the Yeti just got pulled off a cliff. They threw a spear at it, and attached a rope to it, and a rock to the rope. And somehow the Yeti was pulled off, even though the part attached to the rock was above the Yeti the whole time.

And somehow DoucheBag survived. But so did a Yeti.

Computer Transfers

Do you have any idea how long it takes to transfer all my music and stuff to my laptop, reformat my iPod so it works with my laptop, and then transfer all the music back onto the iPod?

A very long time.

Beowulf



Interesting soundtrack. It seems to be a medieval movie with a techno-esque soundtrack.

The title character is a guy with short bleach-blond hair, who seems to be trying to channel his inner Peter Stormare. Peter Stormare is awesome. This guy, not so much... Apparently he's actually The Highlander.

Seems to be some sort of post-apocalyptic/medieval combination.

And everyone seems to have some sort of Scandinavian accent, and yet there are black people.

OK, its officially some sort of post apocalyptic setting. The body bags have zippers.

And apparently Grendel's mother is incapable of covering her boobs to the satisfaction of the Sci-Fi Channel Censors. So after much anticipation and discussion, I present to you: Blurred Sci-Fi Channel Boobs. Enjoy.

And since I don't really know what order these pictures are gonna show up, I also present you with a bunch of dudes. Thankfully fully clothed. Guy on the left is Highlander/Beowulf. Guy on the right is Hrothgar/Guy-Who-Looks-Like-Oded-Fehr. And maybe we'll get a picture of Grendel, if I'm feeling feisty. He's pretty much the only character who I haven't picturized yet.

And this Roland guy seems to either smoke sticks, or really suck at rolling his own cigarrette things... They're all bendy.

And now Grendel's mother is now tempting Roland with her boobs. He thought it was a dream. To which she responded by showing her boobs, and saying "Is this real enough for you?" Apparently in this post-apocalyptic future/past/whatever, hallucinations or dreams never have boobs... or something like that. I'm not really sure.

Apparently Beowulf's father is Ba'al. Here pronounced Bale. Or maybe he's saying that Christian Bale is his father. I wonder if he's gonna be anywhere near as badass as his father as this movie winds down. Either Ba'al or Bale...

OK, I think he just might succeed. He seems to get from place to place by back-flipping. or maybe that's just how he fights. Either way, its pretty hilarious. Although he does seem to make occasional use of the front flip. Sadly the bad guys don't share his propensity for acrobatics, or this would be the best movie ever...

And Grendel's dead now. So looks like we won't be getting any pictures.

And apparently Beowulf's loins burn. Might wanna get that looked at...

And something just happened with a knife, some blood, and some fire. I'm not really sure. But it seems that everyone's dead now, except for Beowulf and that chick...

Well, that was tewwible... Or maybe I should end it with a period, so you know I'm done with this filth.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

The Running Man

The movie was basically the epitome of the 80s.

The book, on the other hand, was completely different. Ben Richards seemed to be about as opposite from Arnold as you can get, and the game show was done completely differently. Quite an interesting read.

I'd recommend them both for their respective virtues.

Children of the Damned


Same sort of thing as Village. A bunch of creepy little kids that can make people do things with their minds.

Only this time without the blond wigs and glowing eyes.

And I leave you with this random picture.

Nameology

Apparently Teddy Roosevelt's kids had guinea pigs named Dr. Johnson, Bishop Doane, Fighting Bob Evans, and Father O'Grady. Those are fantastic names.

I think I'm going to have to name one of my kids "Fighting Bob Evans".

Fire & Ice

Amy Acker, Tom Wisdom (2008) A princess and a knight must save a kingdom from a rampaging dragon.

Sci-Fi Saturday movie from October 18.

Well, I'll start of by saying that I'm intrigued. Based on the promos, this movies eventually going to be an epic battle between a fire dragon and an ice dragon. So far we've only seen the fire dragon. And it actually is on fire, rather than just breathing it.

If you were wondering whether Ghillie suits had any use in medieval times, they really, really don't. But it is kind of hilarious to see people dressed in a suit covered in leaves in the middle of a swordfight.

Dragons look like gigantic Manta Rays... not your standard winged lizard look...

And due to poor editing, I have no idea if John Rhys-Davies just got stabbed, or if he stabbed someone...

And I think that the king guy is the same actor as the evil mummy dude in The Mummy Returns.

And then there was some inevitable betrayal, and some me not paying attention, and now somehow the fire dragon doesn't seem to be part of the story anymore. Like I said... I wasn't really paying attention.

And now it appears that the ice dragon has been skooshed by a bunch of rocks. And since this is a bad sci-fi movie, I stress the word "appears". And apparently I was wrong to be wary....

Life on Mars Pt 2

Actually, scratch "pretty". Insert "really".

Friday, November 7, 2008

Life on Mars

This show is pretty good. Makes me want to watch the British original.

The Mummy Returns

Note to Self: Don't shoot Oded Fehr's bird. Or he'll come and tommy-gun all your dudes, and then swordify you in a series of very poorly edited together shots...

Best scene thus far:

Dude is in a fist fight with main evil chick. Getting his ass handed to him, when he manages to actually land a punch. She looks vaguely miffed, while he has a fantastic mix of surprise and elation.

OK. New best scene. Computer generated The Rock as the half scorpion half dude character.

Now evil chick is fighting good chick with sais. I'm hoping Raphael shows up.

And in case you were wondering, the main evil priest guy looks like Dean Stockwell gone wrong.

I'm liking this movie because all of the main characters have the appropriate amount of "How the hell did we end up in this situation" expresions throughout their random exploits...

New best scene. Brendan Frasier flying across the screen with a really strange expression on his face catching some spear thing.

And I do like Oded Fehr. He was pretty good in this, and I really liked his character in the Resident Evil series.

Evil dude is supposedly hanging over the edge of a cliff for dear life, and yet manages to take both hands off the ledge to complain about Evil chick not saving him.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Waste...

Man, I really squandered the opportunity to get some BS posts on to this blog to bulk up this month's total. I could have been counting down from 5 days of work left, and all that business... That's a few posts that I just completely missed out on...

1 More Work Day

One more day of work till Hawaii!

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Gloating

First person who tries to gloat to me about anything politics related, I'm going to punch in the dick. FYI.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Elections

How do they do this shit? They're projecting winners in states with 1 county reporting. I really don't understand it.

Toulomne County in California is the only county reporting as I report this. And it apparently went 8000 to 6000 to McCain, but the projected winner of the state is Obama. Granted this is California we're talking about, but still. You figure that they should at least do a little more vote counting before they start projecting winners and shit.

Walton Goggins' Ass

Did not need to see that.

Note to Self

Note to self: Don't mes with William Fichtner or his kids. He will fuck your shit up...

Voting

After all that franticicity about the crowdeness of the polls today, I managed to get in and out in a matter of minutes...

Monday, November 3, 2008

Campaining Tips

Some things I learned coming home from Church on Sunday:

When you're putting up home-made signs to support your candidate, make sure to spell is name correctly. I'm pretty sure that the Republican candidate's name ends in an "N" and doesn't have an "E" tacked on the end.

Also, I'd avoid using printer paper. And only using one staple each at the middle of the of the top and bottom to attach it to telephone poles. The slightest bit of wind, and all anyone is able to see anymore is the extra "E" on McCain(e)'s name.

But if you're going to make these mistakes, at least try to do it on one telephone pole, rather than 20 in a row. Just makes you look bad. Whoever you are.

Sweet Crap

If I keep going at this rate, I'll definitely past October's posting record. Its only the 3rd or something, and I think this is post #16 for the month.

Voting?

Lets see how that works out.

Hopefully the lines won't be too long. Gonna try to go in the morning.

We'll see how much profanity ensues in my inevitable post-voting Blog entry.

Mythbusters

Kari is currently wearing an Iron Maiden shirt on the latest episode of Mythbusters.

And it makes me happy that Adam seems to have had an Indiana Jones costume before testing the myth...

Battle Planet

Zach Ward AKA Nikolai from Resident Evil:Apocalypse stuck in some sort of advanced space suit. Seems like it would be a shitty acting gig. Running through the woods wearing a really thick padded suit, and a shit-ton of plastic plates...

A lot of the movie thus far has been him talking to the onboard computer on his suit. There seems to be some sort of plot happening, as he's now been taken prisoner by his own guys. But sadly, I'm not really sure what this plot is. And Wikipedia is no help at all...

I'm assuming that the human/"friendly" alien government is actually evil. Mainly because they keep referring to their motto of "For the Cause". Generally Causes with a capital C are evil in this sort of movie...

Apparently they're using the suit to collect data on human limits. So the suit is apparently supposed to kill him, and then they can use the data to optimize future genetic engineering or some shit...

But enough of that business. It wouldn't be a proper blog post if I didn't start blathering about someone's accent or oldness or something. Well, sadly, no one seems to have an accent or anything. But Nikolai from Resident Evil: Apocalypse had a pretty awesome Russian accent.

And this random pilot guy we'll probably never see again has some sort of British accent.

I will however, mention the fact that Zach Ward has an amazingly large jaw. Makes his face really large.

And now there's a crazy midget. I'm so effing confused... Although he is singing. In a rather incomprehensible manner. He's apparently drunk... and officially awesome... Too bad he's a traitorous bastard...

And then everyone died...

The only interesting part of this was after they all died, they showed pretty much the same thing happening to another character. Don't know why I found that particularly interesting, as its really a common thing for these sort of movies to do....

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Omen (the 2006 remake)

A remake of the original. I remember it was released on June 6th 2006. Trying to use the whole 6/6/06-ness of the date, as it is about the Anti-Christ.

David Thewlis has a fantastic accent, by the way. I originally remember him from the Dinotopia miniseries, and he's been here and there. Apparently he was Lupin in the Harry Potter movies. I don't remember if he had his awesome accent in those movies...

Also stars the villain from Hannibal, as some priest who got burned in a big fire. And of course, I use the term "stars" very loosely.

Thus far it seems to be a rather faithful (almost shot-for-shot) remake of the original. So, basically, since I've already seen the original, there's no real reason for me to be watching this. Except for maybe David Thewlis' accent. Because it is awesome. But I already know he's going to die. I guess I'll have to find some other reason to keep watching. Thus far its been pretty much the same. The original had a scene when Bugenhagen finds the daggers to start the movie, which this version lacks. But other than that, its been pretty much the same progression of scenes. Not necessarily exactly the same shots, but the same gist...

Sadly I can't root for the only character that I know survives, as the kid who plays Damien is really creepy. But I guess that's his role, and he seems to be doing a quite decent job at it...

I'm not a big fan of remakes... Either they're exactly the same as the orignal, and thus not worth watching, or they're completely different. For example, the remake of Psycho was basically a copy of Hitchcock's original. And it had Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates. I'm not a terrifically big fan of his... And then there's the remakes that are made of good movies. That usually end up sucking...

And then there's The Day The Earth Stood Still. I sort of want to see it, just to see what they've done with it. But if you've seen the original, you'll know that basically nothing from the trailer actually happened in the original. I think its sort of a morbid curiosity... I have no idea where they got all that stuff... It definitely wasn't in the orignial material.

Although, I do like the new Dawn of the Dead. I've never seen the original, so that may be part of it. Although, I am a sucker for Zombie movies.

And Thewlis just got decapitated. Luckily the movies almost done. This may be the final act, or it may have one commercial break left. Either way, I might as well stick with it.

Basically, if you're looking to see The Omen, you can either watch the original, or the remake. They're pretty much the same. I guess its just a matter of if you like Liev Schrieber or Gregory Peck better. Actually never mind. Watch the remake. The original doesn't have David Thewlis and his fantastic accent.

And the scenes near the end showing the demise of the dog and the housekeeper are pretty fantastic. Don't remember if the original scenes were quite as fantastic.

Forbidden Planet


Apparently Leslie Nielsen wasn't always old.

Airport '77


Follow up to Airport '75, which had Charlton Heston hang from a helicopter and climb into a hole in the side of 747. In flight.

Sadly this one doesn't have Charlton Heston in it. It has Jimmy Stewart in a rather small role as some millionaire art collector guy who's not actually on this flight... And it has Christopher Lee in it. Who apparently has been old his entire life. Because this movie was filmed 30 years ago, and he's old in this... I have no idea if he's survived this far into the movie, but I might get a picture if he shows up again... Success!

Plane gets hijacked by art thieves. Plane crashes in ocean and sinks. (Plane hit antenna of oil drilling platform to little damage to either, except for a burned out engine.) And now you're caught up.

For being a movie called Airport, very little seems to actually happen in an airport. There was a very short bit at Dulles, followed by some time in flight, and now they're in the plane under the ocean.

And apparently thus dieth Christopher Lee. Drowndeding trying to save his fellow passengers... And they're consoling his wife. By which I mean pouring alcohol in her mouth every time she opens it to breathe or cry.

And apparently suspenders are strong enough, and attached to the pants sufficiently to be used as a handle for preventing someone from being swept away by rushing water. Tip for future survival.

The Navy just refloated the plane with what essentially seem to be gigantic balloons. And they're all wearing life vests, but they're all standing inside the door of the plane waiting to be picked up by boats, rather than going out and standing on the wing, which is about a foot under water. Or less... And none of their life vests are inflated. Very poor way to run a disaster if you're asking me. And now all the balloons are breaking off the plane due to the stress... Si I'd bet they're wishing they'd been standing on the wing at this point. And thus far, it seems that only 2 people had properly inflated life vests...

And now the plane has sunk again...

THE END.

5 more days of work!

Yay.

Formula 1 Season

As today's race was the final race, it follows that there won't be any races for a while. So, you won't get any more updates on Jarno's progress. And I have no idea about the MotoGP season. That might be over too...

Formula 1 World Championship

A fantastic final race. Looked like it'd be a rather boring race. Started off with about a 30 second rain storm right before the race, which had the teams scrambling to change to wet weather tires on the starting grid.

And then as the race wound down, Massa led, with Hamilton sitting in 4th with Sebastian Vettel right behind him. Remember, he needed to finish 5th or better to win the World Championship.

However, with about 4 laps to go, it started to rain, and most everyone dove into the pits to switch over to wet tires again. All except Timo Glock. After everyone got back on track, Glock moved up a few places, and took 4th spot, leaving Hamilton in 5th. Then with 2 laps to go, Vettel passed Hamilton for 5th, seemingly giving the World Championship to Massa. Hamilton tried and failed to re-pass Vettel. So going into the final few corners, it looked like Massa had won the championship. However, the rain kept up, with Glock still on dry weather tires. His performance suffered accordingly, and ended up getting passed in essentially the final corner by Vettel and Hamilton. Bringing Hamilton back into the 5th spot required to win the championship.

Definitely a very interesting way to finish the season, and a rather exciting conclusion to what seemed like it could be a rather boring race.

And Jarno finished 8th today.

Pet Sematary 2

Very similar to the first one, and the Stephen King book. Basically, an old indian burial ground can bring the dead back to life if you bury a dead person/animal there. So, basically not much to say there.

Music was very similar to the M.A.S.H. theme, and kinda weirded me out, because it didn't really fit with the theme of the movie

Virtuosity

Russel Crowe as VR villain brought to real life. Denzel Washington as hero/disgraced ex-cop.

And now should probably have a post entitled "Russel Crowe's Ass". Which would text identical to the post about the increasingly creepy Mr. DeVito. Not a good weekend in that respect. We can only wonder what tomorrow shall bring... I realize that technically its tomorrow now, but I haven't gone to sleep yet, which means its still today.

Its nice to get back to Sci-Fi movies, rather than the month long foray into horror. Although there didn't seem to be any dude asses in the horror movies...

Apparently when you combine Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson, John Wayne Gacy and about 125 other serial killers, you get Russel Crowe. He does manage to play crazy characters quite well. And he seems to play the future-threremin quite well... And the Screaming Orchestra.

This movie's got a pretty decent soundtrack thus far. Bit of heavy metal/techno/whatever for the chase scene. Or whatever genre Rammstein seems to be...

"Hey buddy. How's the wife and kid? Still dead, huh?" Very non-chalant.

And now they're playing Live. Again, good soundtrack.

And apparently everyone wears shiny pants in the future. Or at least the future that was envisioned in 1995.

And Denzel just punched Robot Crowe through the back of the head and stole his brain-chip-thing. And has decided to finish things off by upper-cutting William Fichtner.

So, aside from Russel Crowe's ass, not bad...

And the Deus Ex Machina for the movie is Denzel's robotic arm due to the event which killed his family and got him stuck in jail

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Boo

My cereal is in my car... but I wants it here... Perhaps I shall have to

That was by far the best timed commercial break ever. Granted I could have just paused it. But whatever.

F1 Qualifying

Massa qualified first, which is where he needs to be if he wants to win the World Championship. Rival Lewis Hamilton was a few spaces back. But he only needs to get 6th or better or something like that in order to outscore Massa even if he wins.

And now after that crap that you probably don't care about, here's something more interesting. Jarno Trulli qualified second. Which is kind of a surprise, as you'd think the larger budget teams such as Ferrarri and McLaren would be up there, due to amount of money spent and all...

But, lets just repeat his name: Jarno Trulli. Isn't that a fantastic name? Sounds Swedish or something, but he is in fact Italian.

And I'll leave you with this: jarno Trulli

Nightmare on Elm Street

See previous.

The rest of the Halloween movies

If I'm ever in a town that has a serial killer on the loose that seems to return on an annual basis, I'm totally gonna put on every pair of pants I own on that night...