Ba'al: The Storm God

Jeremy London, Lexa Doig (2008) An archaeologist unleashes a violent storm after he releases an anceint god from captivity (2:00) NR. NEW

I'll start off this review my mentioning that I have to pee, and I have a wedgie... I'm gonna have to go ahead an amend both of those things before I continue...

And they seem to be pronouncing it "B-Al" as in the name Al, preceded by a "B" sound. Rather than the more popular "Bale" or "Ball".

And apparently some thing has been buried... there are 4 of them (representing air, earth, fire, and water). And their buried in their "elemental opposite". The fire one is apparently buried in water... and the theory is that the Earth one is buried in "that which is as pure as air"... which is apparently ice... because ice totally isn't made of water... but they are making a point of calling it "pure ice"... which i guess is totally different...

Although some guy just said Ball in one sentence, and B-Al in the next...

Needs more shooting. Or, really, anything but random digging, and a bit of storming... and right on cue, Big Ben, and London Bridge just got destroyed by a storm... and there goes Brooklyn Bridge.

And Cliff Simon makes a better Ba'al than the random cloud face from this movie...

And the Deus Ex Machina is the use of L or El or Ell or Elle or something... who is apparently B-Al's father.

And they have a countdown to detonation... which hits 0, but apparently is actually only a countdown to launch, as the weapon they're using is well over 10 seconds away from actually detonating...

and i think the same pane of glass shattered twice...

So, the moral of this story is, go outside or something... or take a nap... it'll be far superior to watching this piece of crap... nothing really happens...

And next week: Dark Corners: A pregnant woman has disturbing visions of a serial killer and a mysterious look-alike.