The Land That Time Forgot

C. Thomas Howell, Timothy Bottoms (2009) Castaways become stranded on an uncharted island populated by dinosaurs and a German U-boat crew. Based on the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs.

Syfy Saturday movie from 2/20.

C. Thomas Howell. You know what that means? Yup, its another one of those wonderful movies by The Asylum! Looking forward to it already.

I'm really hoping this is a modern movie, and the German U-boat crew mentioned in the description is a bunch of crotchety 80 year old dudes bumbling about the island...

But unfortunately, it would appear that our modern-day adventurers have just gone through some sort of portal. Which I'm guessing has taken them to the past, and thus the U-boat crew will likely be not what I'd hoped for.

And some guy I don't care about just got et by a Pterodactyl. Sweet! Spelled it correct on the first go! Anyways, I realize that "some guy I don't care about" doesn't really narrow down the list of characters any. Although I am kinda enjoying the fact that C. Thomas is attempting to rock the manpris.

Also, word of warning: If we ever find ourselves stuck on an island, being chased by a poorly rendered CG T-Rex, find that our boat is missing once we get back to the beach, and you take that opportunity to start getting all frantic and stop being helpful to the situation (i.e., you become the typical frantic movie female character), I'm just going to punch you square in the face. No matter who you are. Because that's what I was hoping was about to happen in this movie. But alas.

And C. Thomas is really making use of his anxious face... He probably'll wear it out by the end of the movie. I'm really looking forward to seeing what will take its place. But maybe he'll get an extra ration of anxious face because his character's name is "Frost". And by name, I mean first name. Its a plausible last name. But more improbable as a first name.

Also, for some reason, the little yacht thing that our intrepid adventurers were traveling on uses those blue water-cooler type jugs for its drinking water.

And T-Rexes have got to be the most inefficient hunters ever. Because they seem to have to stop every few seconds to roar while they're hunting. Or maybe that's just the poorly rendered CG type...

And the Deus Ex Machina of the movie is the fact that the captain guy just happens to know how to build a petroleum refinery out of spare parts...

Also, the director really needs to learn the definition of the world continuity. Because he kinda sucks at that game.

Also, apparently, WWII German torpedoes were launched by explosives, and not by air pressure. Really helps with the being silent thing.

And then they just blew up the poorly rendered CG T-Rex with a hand grenade. With the biggest explosion yet. Even though they've been chucking dynamite and a whole mess of other things. And the fact that grenades aren't meant to create big explosions. They're more suited to creating a whole mess of shrapnel. Or at least the kind they were chucking.

And very charitable of that refinery thing to explode only after C. Thomas had decided that he wanted to get off his lazy ass and run away from the fire...