Spiders 2

Something about spiders... and a boat...

Didn't pay enough attention to care.

One thing I did notice is that everyone keeps getting hit in the jibblies...

Yay?

I just booked tickets to Hawaii. Which makes me Su's favorite. Yay me.

Look-a-likes

Barack Obama looks like Militia from American Gladiators.

But, I'd refrain from doing a Google search to verify that. Apparently it can lead to disastrous consequences...

Enemy Mine

Multiple Choice Test:

Why did I watch this movie?

A) Because there's a SG1 episode of the same name.
B) Some other reason which I'm too lazy to come up with, but is nonetheless wrong.

Yup, its A.

Stan Lee's Harpies

Some chick just called Stephen Baldwin a "Lascivious Dog-Hearted Pig-Nut". Sounds about right.

That's right, this movie is gonna be another bad sci-fi movie where I bitch about how much I dislike Stephen Baldwin. But at least he doesn't have stupid hair like most of his other roles... We'll see if another clever nickname turns up.

I've seen the king on Stargate. I just can't remember what role he played...

But its quite obvious that they film in Eastern Europe. Or that Vancouver has a significant Eastern European population. About half the people have really strong accents. Which is pretty much the high point of this movie thus far. Well, turns out that the guy isn't from Stargate after all. He's just been in a shit-ton of bad Sci-Fi movies... I naturally assumed that since I recognized him, it was from Stargate. But he does have a sweet name. Velizar Beniv or something. I realize that I just read it and switched tabs in Firefox, but I managed to forget in that really short time. I'm awesome...

Oh and Baldwin is using a breaching shotgun as a weapon... and the gold cup/goblet/things look like they're spray painted plastic... and it seems that no one is showing the love for Baldwin. He just got his self drugged. But at least he seems to be covered in shit throughout the movie... so I'm happy... a little.

I tried to watch this movie about a year ago when it was a Sci-Fi Saturday movie. But I found something better to do with my time. Let see if that trend continues...

And the Harpies have really bad teeth. Quite obviously one of those fake gums and teeth things that you put over top your own teeth. They probably got the props from one of those dispensers at the entrance of a supermarket.

and fore some reason, although they're in middle ages Europe, they've give the good Mr. Baldwin what seems to be a katana... because that makes perfect sense.

And I still need to review last Sci-Fi Saturday movie... and i guess the one that just finished showing... I'll get around to it some time...

and they're using the "oh isn't the guy from the Future's language all funny" joke too damn much...

and some blind dude just got nailed by the trebuchet. probably the best scene thus far.

although, if you're in the mood for a really shitty sword fight, this movie might be for you... although it is rather impressive how many different variations of the "Hey look, I'm gonna hold this sword/spear/arrow in my armpit or behind me or something, and make it look like i've been stabbed" thing.

And apparently harpies wear bras... FYI.

And they just captured the king dude... but he still has his sword... morons...

Random quote: "And don't fondle my undergarments". Granted I wasn't paying enough attention to have any idea what the character was talking about, but that line kinda stuck out... And needless to say, the dude fondled her undergarments. and ate her cheese. and then gott attacked by harpies, and burned himself alive...

Stan Lee should stop putting his name on Shit. I appreciate his random-ass cameos in actual good movies. But shit like Stan Lee's Lightspeed, and Stan Lee's Harpies. That shit's gotta go.

and the king dude escaped, and got captured by someone else. and yet he still has his sword. his original sword.

And Stephen Baldwin still sucks. My brother agrees.

And apparently its pronounced "Oh-belisk". Douchebags don't realize its "Aw-belisk".

This one started off as a "poke yourself in the eye", but is quickly raising in the ranks up to a "punch yourself in the dick"

And they just used the same CG shot 3 times in relatively rapid succession...

although, I think it would be quite fun to "fight" a CG monster in a sword-fight...

Invincible

You know who makes funny faces while running?

Mark Wahlberg.

You know who looks really funny while he's running? Especially when shown in slow motion?

Mark Wahlberg.

Thought it was a pretty decent movie. One of those nice, feel-good movies... Nothing too particularly good or amazing, but worth a watch nonetheless

Knight Rider: Punch Yourself in the Dick and Save Yourself the Trouble

So, yeah, that pretty much says it.

Just watched the first episode. And I'm pretty sure it'll be the last. Bionic Woman lasted about 3 episodes for me. Flash Gordon lasted an entire season. That should tell you something about what I think about this.

Basically, as the title says, just punch yourself in the dick, and it'll be a far more pleasurable organization.

Started off at a "Foreign Consulate"... Writers weren't even clever enough to come up with a particular country...

And then pretty much in between the first 2 commercial breaks, they had the main character down to her underwear. Not that I'm complaining or anything, but I think it shows a good amount of desperation. And its only the first episode.

And seriously, what could be stupider than scissors doors on a convertible...

So, as the title states, punching yourself in the dick is a more pleasurable experience than watching this show. Its like an army of midgets playing tetherball with your beanbag. Just hit yourself once, and get it over with.

And another thing I forgot. A missile locked onto the main characters heat signature or some shit. But KITT said that he/she/it had cooled the outer skin to the ambient temperature. I'm pretty sure that since its an enclosed car, and if the skin of the car was at ambient temperature, there would be no way for the missile to lock onto the dude inside the car.

And that's likely everything I'll ever say about Knight Rider.