Black Swarm

So, I just got done watching "Black Swarm" off the DVR. Its one of those Sci-Fi original movies and that should tell you something...

You remember that Men In Black movie? The one where the bug alien thing takes over the ugly dude, and tries to do something or another? Yeah, that one. Anyways, that's pretty much the plot of this movie. Genetically engineered wasps essentially take over a town, infecting townsfolk who become "drones". Yeah, OK...

Well, I wasn't paying that much attention. Except for the end, where some cargo helicopters carry an impressive amount of missiles and guns. And are referred to as "attack helicopters" by people who are underground, with no windows... Apparently helicopters sound different when they've got weapons. Probably angrier...

So, I'm getting a laptop. That will live on our couch. So I should be updating this blog more often, as I watch more bad sci-fi.

Oh and the main character (a chick) and the other main character (a dude) apparently had some sort of history together (i.e. boning). But then the chick ended up leaving the dude on the altar, and eventually marrying the dude's brother (identical twin, no less), while carrying the dude's unborn kid in her womb.

So, lets have a poll:

That's creepy as hell, right?

Well, not so much a poll, as a question. And sort of a question to see who actually reads this damn thing. I'm gonna go with no one. Except maybe Su... if I tell her that I wrote this...

And random thought from earlier:

I was watching Troy, and the main gates of Troy opened inwards. That seems kinda dumb. Because if the opponent uses a battering ram (which they are quite prone to doing in that sort of movie), they'll be forcing the door open. It seems to me that if the gates opened outwards, the battering ram would force the doors more closed, and be harder to open. And I gotta figure that it'd be pretty hard for an attacking army to get close to the gates, and then pull them open. And thus endeth my thoughts on Castle/Gigantor City Wall design.

One more thing

I saw the most amazing bumper sticker today:

I'm only speeding
cause I have to POOP

with a small drawing of a pile of poo...

that is all...

have a good day...

Well, apparentlly i still have a blog

I haven't updated this thing an ass long time... i'm pretty sure you've noticed that... or maybe you haven't... but then again, if you haven't, you probably aren't reading this right now, because you don't check my blog...

so, i guess i'll just continue then...

anyways, a few weeks, maybe months, back, i watched a couple of bad sci-fi movies... all starring Jonas Quinn...

and now for an aside that will explain my naming conventions. I will not be referring to actors by their given names, but instead by the role I know them best in. For example, Richard Dean Anderson will not be referred to as such, but probably alternating between MacGyver and Han Solo. Anyways, for the purpose of this post, and your information, Jonas Quinn is a character on Stargate SG-1, who replaced Dr. Daniel Jackson when his character died at the end of the 5th season. Quinn is played by Corin Nemec, who apparently has a number of bad sci-fi movies under his belt... and that's the last i'll be explaining of people's names. I'll let you have the fun and excitingness of figuring the rest out for yourselves...

anyways, the first movie that came on was "SS Doomtrooper". How can you resist a movie with that title? Anyways, the premise of the movie was that the Nazis were experimenting with the new and exciting "nuclear radiation", which allowed them to create the titular character, basically a huge muscular glowing guy... and i hope that titular means what i think it means, otherwise, this doomtrooper guy apparently has some serious boob-age issues...

anyways, Jonas Quinn played the role of the Army Dude Who Goes Up Against The SS Doomtrooper Dude, And Through Some Adversity, Manages to Vanquish His Evil Foe. I'm pretty sure that was exactly the character's name in the movie, but I could be wrong... anyways, he had a bunch of buddies that went on the mission who were playing the roles of Random Friends of Army Dude, Who Are Essential For The Success Of The Mission, But Are Inexplicably In Jail At The Time, And Thus Require Army Dude To Convince the Brass To Let them Out of Jail, So They Can Go On This Absurdly Important Mission. If I weren't so lazy, I'd come up with an acronym or something... Instead I'm gonna stick with Jonas Quinn, and the Dirty Dozen (even though there were only about 5 of them)... the plot should seem rather familiar, except without the whole SS Doomtrooper guy...

Anyways, I don't really remember much of the movie, except for the bad computer graphics, and that Jonas Quinn had some bad hair... dude needs a haircut (see later for when I talk about Mansquito)

Anyways, they eventually vanquish the foe, and everyone's happy... except for the general, who gets his Jeep jacked by our intrepid heroes at the end of the movie, because apparently, since they just got back from the mission, they can go futzing around the countryside in an american Jeep, while still wearing German uniforms, and not get shot... or reprimanded by the General whose jeep they just freaking stole...

Mansquito: Well, at the beginning, I was quite surprised, because apparently Jonas Quinn was boning Shaun'auc... Figured Teal'c was gonna show up and kick his ass, but he never did... and then she turned into a mosquito thing... womansquito? who knows...

anyways, the best part of this movie was when Jonas went into the hospital to hunt down the criminal guy who had turned into the mansquito... At one point, Jonas shot the creature with an m203, after yelling "Hey, Mansquito!"... Not very often that they actually use the name of the movie in the movie itself...

And right then and there I decided that if I ever turn into a mansquito or something similar, I would like someone to yell "Hey Mansquito!" and then proceed to shoot me with an m203. There's just a certain flair for the awesome in that death...

And now, that movie with the Tiger and Gary Busey...

I have no idea what it was called, but it was a bad sci-fi movie with Gary Busey... Gary Busey starred as the sheriff of some town suffering from an acute case of tiger...

anyways, for some odd reason, the wardrobe department had the good Mr. Busey dressed up in a really poorly fitting suit, which just looked terrible...

and for some reason, they decided to end the movie in much the same fashion as "Kaw", which was the bad sci-fi movie with Sean Patrick Flannery. Basically, they're in the store thingy, and then they blow up the gas pump to obliterate the creature... except this one didn't have the little epilogue where the main character gets killed randomly by a new flock of crazy ass crows... although, given the choice between Busey, and Flannery deserving random death at the end of the movie, I would totally have chosen Busey... but I guess that's why i'm not writing bad Sci-fi movies...

anyways, the best part of that movie was when the sheriff was giving a press conference, and someone asked what the implications of having a tiger on the loose was. Gary Busey answered something to the effect of "there's a tiger on the loose" and proceed to make a really strange face... it was incredibly odd, and rather funny at the same time... further proof that Gary Busey is insane... and looks really weird...

Some Sad and Some Hilarious

So, I've got some sad news and some hilarious news today... I guess I'll go sad first...

My Betta fish, Speedy, passed away this morning... He was a wonderfully lazy fish... we're all sad to see him go... but he lived a good and full life...

and on to the hilarious news, because i don't like being serious for very long:

Blogger is now blocked at work, as is facebook, again... so it seems that SAIC is really trying to keep you from being updated about my carrots and stuff, even though i've been slacking as of late...

it seems lately that I've really only been talking about random movies and TV shows i've seen lately... we'll see if i'm motivated to write about anything else... you never know...

anyways, I still have yet to blather about:
Mansquito
SS Doomtrooper
Eureka
The Bourne Supremacy

and maybe some others... but I'm not gonna do that now...

so, watch this space... but don't do it too often, because as we all know, i'm really lazy and bad about updating this thing lately...

Doctor Who

Well, i just finished watching the 3rd season of Doctor Who... those guys know how to write a season finale...

well, i'm back

i have some sad news to report...

it seems that Scott Speed no longer is racing Formula 1... so that means no more Scott Speed Sucks Report...

its a very sad day...

in fact I could lie to you and tell you that depression caused by no longer being able to ridicule Scott Speed was the reason I haven't posted in a while...

however, this one headline from cnn.com made me want to post so I could share it with you:

Study: T-rex could outrun David Beckham

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/08/22/dinosaur.speed.reut/index.html

how utterly fascinating... and random...

i watched the Bourne Supremacy over the weekend, and sometime i might get around to reviewing it...

but not now, because i'm lazy...

Harry Potter?

Well, the past 2 weekends have been somewhat harry potter related...

Last weekend (i.e. just over a week ago), I read the final book. I must say I rather enjoyed the book, and thought it was a good ending to the series... granted the epilogue was kind of cheesy, but I think it still worked...

anyways, all the press leading up to the release of the book talked about how people that the reader cared about were going to die in the book... and I suppose I should say that if you don't want to read me hinting at what happens, you should stop reading. I won't actually come out and say something definite that happened, but I'll stick to vague generalities...

anyways, none of the characters i felt particularly invested in ended up dying... unlike the 6th book, where a certain important figure dies... there were a couple of people who die, where it was kind of "hey, that sucks", but I had no real emotional attachment to those people... could be the fact that I haven't done anything harry potter related (i.e. read or watch) since either the last movie was released or the last book was released... whichever came latest... so I'd had a lot of time to forget about all the incidental characters, and lose any sort of attachment i might have had...

oh, and Snape... I was very happy about what Rowling did with his character... instead of being just a one dimensional character, he actually turned out to be sort of interesting...


OK, you can start reading again... but I have no idea how you'll know this, if you're not reading anymore... i suppose I could have put this part first, but then it would get out of chronological order, and everyone would be sad...

and then the next weekend, which just past, I went and saw the latest harry potter movie...

and like my previous movie review(s) i will also discuss the previews that i remember... first off was some sort of random collection of dinosaurs, mammoths, primitive people, and randomness... the movie was 10,000 BC or somesuch... anyways I have no idea what this movie is about... except that it has mammoths in it... and in case you weren't aware, mammoths are insanely hilarious... so, perhaps someday, i will figure out what this movie is about, and not just remember the preview fondly due to the mammoth-ness... the person a few seats to my right denounced this as "stupid"...

there were some other previews that this person also denounced... which led me to question her taste... although she was right about some...

and then came "charmed" or "enchanted" or some other similarly titled shit... basically a cartoon princess (and later a prince and trusty side-kick chipmunk) end up in modern day New York City... hijinks ensue, and lots of stupid shit seems to happen... the lady seemed to think this was the best thing since sliced bread... which made me then decide that she had absolutely no tasted, and deserved to be punched in the head...

but luckily, the movie started...

surprisingly little Order of the Phoenix, for having a movie named after the organization...

very little in Grimmauld place or whatever... be interesting to see what they do with the last 2 books in that respect... also, it looked different than i imagined... i was imagining sort of a townhousey thing... but it ended up looking more like the front of a much larger building, rather than multiple buildings glued together...

whoever played the part of Umbridge did a good job of portraying the intense jerk-assitude of the character....

and whoever played Luna Lovegood, was similarly good... she played her part very well... and she liked pudding...

so, at the end, Harry makes some comment about how they have something that voldemort doesn't... i was truly hoping that Luna would chime in with a cheerful response of "pudding"... because as we all know, the dark lord doesn't get enough pudding, which is why he is so cranky... and no-nose-ish... and ugly...

so let that be a lesson to you kids... eat your pudding or you'll end up looking like... uh... a cranky, no-nose-ish, ugly wizard dude? uh, i guess... because who wants that? anyways, bad example... oh, and how can you have any pudding, if you don't eat your meat? do we in fact need no education? or thought control or whatever? anyways, that's quite enough of that random interjection...

grawp was bigger than i imagined...

and now for the bit where I complain about fight scenes... i could never tell which death eaters were which, or really what was going on near the end, due to everyone seemingly having mastered Nightcrawlers ability to teleport random places... so, yeah...

good movie though... i'd recommend it...