Ragin' Cajun Redneck Gators

'13. Toxic moonshine turns alligators into gigantic,mutated monsters that go on a deadly rampage.  Starring: Jordan Hinson, Victor Webster, Christopher Berry.

Syfy Original Movie from 9/6.

Is that?  Is it really?  Yup.  It is.  Sheriff Carter's daughter's all growed up.  Brown hair suits her.

This movie looks to be verging on the stereotypical...  Moonshine (sorry... "shine"); large family rivalries, a random character who seems to be surgically joined to his banjo...

Looks to be a real Romeo and Juliet type story.  If Shakespeared had ever dreamed of poorly CGed giant alligators and blue tinted moonshine.

Zoe: "I'm going back to the city.  Where I can be independent."

Paw: "Fine."

Zoe: "Where I can be a vegan."

Paw: "Fine."

Zoe: "Where I can be... a liberal."

Paw: "OVER MY DEAD BODY!"

Also, the family is confronted by a giant gator.  Random Dude Whose Relationship to Zoe and Paw I Haven't Been Able to Figure Out, Mainly Because I Don't Care (RDWRtZaPIHBAtFOMBIDC for short, or RDWRtZaPIHBAtFO,MBIDC if commas are meant to be included in acronyms) says that he has a "plan of distraction".  At which point he seizes Paw's Wife's (who seems to be someone other than Zoe's mother due to the antagonistic relationship and Zoe referring to her by first name, which I of course didn't pay attention to enough to remember) dog and proceeds to throw it into the the gator's mouth.  At which point they run.

And now, if it is even possible, this movie has become even more ridiculous.  People who got bit by the the mutated gators earlier are turning into gator/human hybrids...

And, for the record, the "Redneck Gators" are "Redneck" due to red pigmentation in the neckular region, not because they happen to be formed by moonshine-induced mutations of Southern Country Folk.  That's just a happy coincidence.