Space Twister

'12. Devastating cyclones threaten to destroy the Earth. Starring: Erica Cerra, Mitch Pileggi, Leah Cairns. From  Canada.

Syfy Saturday Movie from 4/28.

Jo Lupo makes a pretty hot scientist/nerd.  In general, I'm not a fan of glasses with the relatively thick black frames (i.e., hipster glasses), but she can rock them pretty well.

Also, the nerd-in-disguise high school kid is bigger than the football player.  The NID being who looks to be preordained to be the main character hero guy.  NID being an acronym for this guy's name, and not the randomly acronymed agency or whatever it is from Stargate SG1.  And this one is probably less evil.  Or infiltrated by evil.  Or whatever that plot line was.  Or actually plot lines.  Because there were quite a few of them.  And most of them involved that Agent Malcolm Barrett guy who kept trying to get into Sam Carter's pants.

And by bigger than the football player, I mean he's easily a foot taller.  Can't tell much about their relative physiques due to them all wearing relatively bulky baggy clothing.

And Mitch Pileggi's character (or should I say Col Caldwell) is named Gunter.  Which is kinda funny.  Would be improved with an umlaut though.  Although, nothing's saying that he doesn't have that umlaut in his name and random "State Hydro" lady just sucks at pronouncing germanically awesome names.  Also, he's wearing overalls.

Also NID's teacher dad has a pretty awesome rapist van.  Although he decided to go a little incognito, going with the dark red/maroon, rather than the ever-popular white.

And he's currently rocking the hoody/vest combination. Which I probably would have mocked a few weeks ago.  Before I ended up doing it myself, and discovering it worked pretty well.  Although he's gone for the puffy vest or down or whatever.  And mine was more of a fleece.

He has the worst tires in the history of time.  He's on gravel.  Spinning his tires because he's stuck.  But no gravel is moving.  At all.  So, either, his car can levitate, which is awesome, or his tires just massively lack traction.  Based on the beat-up, rapist look of his van, I'm leaning towards terrible tires, and not an amazing technological innovation.

Wherever this supposedly takes place, it seems to have rather inconsistent weather.  Because there are randomly green areas with deciduous trees and what not, and others completely covered in snow.  Also, I'm wondering if any of my readers are going to call me on the fact that I'm complaining about inconsistent weather in a movie named after a weather phenomenon with extra extra-terrestrialness added.  But that would involve my readers actually reading this far into my review.  Which I'm not sure will occur.  Although, I have been rather lax about posting recently, so if my bloggers are missing this blog, then there may be a chance that they will continue reading further than they might otherwise.  But who knows.  Anyways, I'll continue typing, as this movie is only about half done, and perhaps this paragraph of doubting my readers will be buried about halfway through a very lengthy review, and thus my readers will be discouraged and not get this far in the review.

Man, I am either really cynical or really pessimistic about my readers.

In other news, I have a small strawberry rhubarb pie.  Its pretty awesome.

Although my plan will likely fail.  Because I usually start zoning out about halfway through the movie and then stop typing.  And did I mention that I have strawberry rhubarb pie?

Also, I am sucking at typing today.  Making a shit ton of typos that I'm having to go back and fix.  Glad that the red squigglies appear.  Although, not so good when I add random bits and bobs to words.  And probably not a good thing that I can't remember what the hell random word bits and bobs are called.  I keep thinking "clauses" but those are distinctly parts of sentences, and not words.

Also, since I haven't blogged about bodily functions lately, I am terrifically flatulent.  As in terrific volume of.  Because it is not so terrific in other ways.

In case you were wondering, this is apparently called Space Twister due to the fact that NID has invented some sort of device that proves the existence of some variety of sub-atomic particles.  That can only exist on gas giants.  Or something like that.  And this discovery is seemingly linked to the fact that Jupiter's Big Red Spot has disappeared.  Or whatever that big red spot is called.

Also, this gif from Wikipedia is pretty damn mesmerizing:

Which will probably seriously inhibit my reviewing, as I stare at this, rather than continue to watch the movie.  Let us see how this turns out.

Also, this movie needs more Erica Cerra.

And shortly after I type that, it appears that she just got herself blowed up.  So, let me amend my previous statement:  This movie needs more Robo-Erica Cerra.

And now I'm out of pie.  So, I guess it looks like I'm back to paying attention.  But unfortunately for this review, it looks like the movie's almost over.

Frankly, with the title, I was hoping that aliens were gonna be involved somehow.  Because that strikes me as a rather ridiculous and convoluted attack scheme.

And now Col Caldwell as joined Jo in BlowedUpsVille.  Along with all the subatomic particles that were the cause of this movie in the first place.  But he did survive until the last 5 minutes or so.  So, I guess he can be proud of that.