Well, apparentlly i still have a blog

I haven't updated this thing an ass long time... i'm pretty sure you've noticed that... or maybe you haven't... but then again, if you haven't, you probably aren't reading this right now, because you don't check my blog...

so, i guess i'll just continue then...

anyways, a few weeks, maybe months, back, i watched a couple of bad sci-fi movies... all starring Jonas Quinn...

and now for an aside that will explain my naming conventions. I will not be referring to actors by their given names, but instead by the role I know them best in. For example, Richard Dean Anderson will not be referred to as such, but probably alternating between MacGyver and Han Solo. Anyways, for the purpose of this post, and your information, Jonas Quinn is a character on Stargate SG-1, who replaced Dr. Daniel Jackson when his character died at the end of the 5th season. Quinn is played by Corin Nemec, who apparently has a number of bad sci-fi movies under his belt... and that's the last i'll be explaining of people's names. I'll let you have the fun and excitingness of figuring the rest out for yourselves...

anyways, the first movie that came on was "SS Doomtrooper". How can you resist a movie with that title? Anyways, the premise of the movie was that the Nazis were experimenting with the new and exciting "nuclear radiation", which allowed them to create the titular character, basically a huge muscular glowing guy... and i hope that titular means what i think it means, otherwise, this doomtrooper guy apparently has some serious boob-age issues...

anyways, Jonas Quinn played the role of the Army Dude Who Goes Up Against The SS Doomtrooper Dude, And Through Some Adversity, Manages to Vanquish His Evil Foe. I'm pretty sure that was exactly the character's name in the movie, but I could be wrong... anyways, he had a bunch of buddies that went on the mission who were playing the roles of Random Friends of Army Dude, Who Are Essential For The Success Of The Mission, But Are Inexplicably In Jail At The Time, And Thus Require Army Dude To Convince the Brass To Let them Out of Jail, So They Can Go On This Absurdly Important Mission. If I weren't so lazy, I'd come up with an acronym or something... Instead I'm gonna stick with Jonas Quinn, and the Dirty Dozen (even though there were only about 5 of them)... the plot should seem rather familiar, except without the whole SS Doomtrooper guy...

Anyways, I don't really remember much of the movie, except for the bad computer graphics, and that Jonas Quinn had some bad hair... dude needs a haircut (see later for when I talk about Mansquito)

Anyways, they eventually vanquish the foe, and everyone's happy... except for the general, who gets his Jeep jacked by our intrepid heroes at the end of the movie, because apparently, since they just got back from the mission, they can go futzing around the countryside in an american Jeep, while still wearing German uniforms, and not get shot... or reprimanded by the General whose jeep they just freaking stole...

Mansquito: Well, at the beginning, I was quite surprised, because apparently Jonas Quinn was boning Shaun'auc... Figured Teal'c was gonna show up and kick his ass, but he never did... and then she turned into a mosquito thing... womansquito? who knows...

anyways, the best part of this movie was when Jonas went into the hospital to hunt down the criminal guy who had turned into the mansquito... At one point, Jonas shot the creature with an m203, after yelling "Hey, Mansquito!"... Not very often that they actually use the name of the movie in the movie itself...

And right then and there I decided that if I ever turn into a mansquito or something similar, I would like someone to yell "Hey Mansquito!" and then proceed to shoot me with an m203. There's just a certain flair for the awesome in that death...

And now, that movie with the Tiger and Gary Busey...

I have no idea what it was called, but it was a bad sci-fi movie with Gary Busey... Gary Busey starred as the sheriff of some town suffering from an acute case of tiger...

anyways, for some odd reason, the wardrobe department had the good Mr. Busey dressed up in a really poorly fitting suit, which just looked terrible...

and for some reason, they decided to end the movie in much the same fashion as "Kaw", which was the bad sci-fi movie with Sean Patrick Flannery. Basically, they're in the store thingy, and then they blow up the gas pump to obliterate the creature... except this one didn't have the little epilogue where the main character gets killed randomly by a new flock of crazy ass crows... although, given the choice between Busey, and Flannery deserving random death at the end of the movie, I would totally have chosen Busey... but I guess that's why i'm not writing bad Sci-fi movies...

anyways, the best part of that movie was when the sheriff was giving a press conference, and someone asked what the implications of having a tiger on the loose was. Gary Busey answered something to the effect of "there's a tiger on the loose" and proceed to make a really strange face... it was incredibly odd, and rather funny at the same time... further proof that Gary Busey is insane... and looks really weird...